Music 4 - rpg punk

Love hole

i just read in today’s Columbus Dispatch that Mickey Rourke and Courtney Love are now a couple.

for a brief moment, i lost all the respect i had for Rourke.

then i realized that the man is damaged. and like always, when she see’s a damaged man who is seemingly successful, Courtney Love skanked her way onto his lap so she can suck his blood like a succubus.

i’m guessing it was the scene in the Wrestler when he called Kurt Cobain an asshole. i’m willing to put money that she saw that scene and thought, “a man after my own heart.”

what a fucking cunt-rag.

to this day, i’ve never understood why people defend her. she’s a junkie, a shitty mom, a murderer (if she didn’t pull the trigger, which seems very likely given the evidence, she certainly drove him to do it), and a no-talent hack.

musical talent = none. acting talent = none. personality = none. looks = none. personal growth = none. taste = none. relevence = none.

i will giver her this; she is somewhat intelligent. getting away with killing her husband, then stealing his career, then fucking every record executive and drunk/drugged rockstar who would touch her heel-skag ass, then getting a role as a junkie prostitute in a huge movie… i mean, that is pretty impressive. you can’t be stupid and be able to do all that.

or it could all be luck.

i mean, could someone who looks like horny scientists shaved a chimpanzee, bleached its hair, smeared hooker-red lipstick all over its face, then taught it to take dick in every hole for treats, really be all that intelligent?

she sold millions of records though.. oh wait, it is cliche to say that the majority of people are incredibly stupid, right?

and now her claws are in poor, fucked up, deranged, damaged, Mickey Rourke. hasn’t the poor guy had enough pain in his life? now he has to get syphilis, herpes and a fucking leech sucking what’s left of his life away?

doesn’t he have friends? couldn’t Steve Guttenberg give him some helpful advice?

Album Review: Railcars

Railcars – Cities vs Submarines
written and performed by aria jalali*
recorded and produced by jamie stewart
engineered by jamie stewart and shaw waters
mastered by thomas dimuzio
album artwork by claudia o’steen (claudia_osteen@yahoo.com)

*(tracks 2 and 4 – some percussion / mandolin: jamie stewart)
*(track 5 – glockenspiel: dasha bulatova)

(Myspace)

Railcars is a one-man-band out of San Francisco. I know, I know, you’re asking yourself ‘why are you reviewing a band from San Fran, dude?‘ But it’s been tough getting out to any shows lately and these guys (err… guy) ~~were~~ was nice enough to send me this 5 song EP with album art and photos and stuff.

Some background for you: These songs were recorded in the kitchen of Jamie Stewart, whom some of you may know from the band Xiu Xiu.

from the liner notes Aria sent me…
“cities vs submarines is a ten minute journey into aria jalali’s most vivid, reoccurring dreams. railcars is an attempt to bring the images that have haunted aria’s mind to life using drum boxes, synths, and noise pedals with sentiments recreated in lyrical form.

the current four member lineup for railcars’ live performances was established by jalali when asked to play some shows with handsome furs in april 2008, however aria jalali mostly perfors railcars sets by himself, with only a laptop, guitar, a few boss loop station pedals, an ipod shuffle, some radio wires, some noise pedals and some broken keyboards.”

I gotta respect a guy who does it all himself.

Full Review:
There is Ice; It is Blue – This song consists of ridiculous amounts of synthesized electronic noise. I’m pretty sure I heard a cell-phone ring tone layered in there somewhere. The singer (if you can call it singing on this track) sounds like an angry drunk trying to convince someone that they are an asshole by yelling and puking at the same time. I liked this track. the louder you play it, the better it sounds.

Saints are Waiting for Me (Outside my door) – this song has a good amount of electric noise, and a driving drum beat. However, I just can’t get into it as much as There is Ice. It seems disposable; in fact, it is about 30 seconds longer than There is Ice, yet it seems to be over a minute shorter. I can’t put my finger on it, but this song is missing something; like trying to bake a cake when you forgot to throw eggs into the mixing bowl.

Concrete Buildings – The first song with recognizable guitars. This is very Strokes-like, which isn’t necessarily good or bad. I guess that is a matter of personal taste. Simple beat behind it, the vocals sound like they are underwater, which is actually kinda cool. The best part is the ending; the song closes with this noise that sounds like some sort of electrical device being shut off. Jesus, that was a vague description. Think of the sound an old camera flash makes when it charges up – then imagine that sound in reverse.

Through the Trees Lay Smokestacks – 48 seconds of eerie coolness. I wish this was longer. It’s just so… weird. In fact, I’m gonna play it again right now.

Bohemia is Without a Sea – An upbeat track with perhaps the greatest amount of lyrical content on the whole EP. This might be my favorite song out of the 5. There is a lot of stuff going on but not enough to be considered excessive to the point of detracting from the song.

Capsule review: An interesting listen with some unique ideas. Play it loud when drinking PBR or Heinekin at your scenester friends’ house.

4 Song Review: Your Favorite Assassin

(Myspace)
(Official Page)
I first saw Your Favorite Assassin a few years ago at the Billiard Club. Later, I saw them play an opening slot at Cafe Bourbon Street. At the Billiard Club, they played a fine cover of Peaches’ “Fuck the Pain Away.” I honestly don’t remember any of the songs they played at Cafe Bourbon Street, but I remember thinking that they had a more dynamic stage presence there than at the Billiard Club. Their live show is fast paced and pretty exciting. A lot of that has to do with their Frontwoman, known as the DBK. Their Myspace page lists their impressive influences (Notables: Bad Brains, the Dwarves, X, New Bomb Turks, Brainiac). They have a couple singles recorded and 1 full length album and an EP out now, with another full length due out this fall. I recommend checking them out if you can catch a live show.

Resistor
This song is fast and furious. DBK’s vocals are loud and fuzzy (both are good things) and backed by… well I’m not entirely sure, but I’ll assume it is Mike the guitarist. Heavy guitars and drums through the whole song. The chorus sees the female lead wailing like a banshee with the male back-up singing behind her. I’m not a fan of that style (it seems too close to Linkin Park rap-rock to me), personally, I would rather just hear the chick scream. Bass is drowned out, which is unfortunate, but you honestly won’t miss it. A fast dirty track, I could listen to this a few times in a row. In fact, I just did.

Deeper the Wounds
A slower, acoustic song. Not indicative of their other work. This song is has elements of the aforementioned ‘X‘ in it. Unfortunately, it is kind of generic. The subject matter of the lyrics is nothing new. Everything you know is a lie, everyone you know will betray you, yadda yadda yadda. However, the recording is crisp and clear. I can see this song being a favorite for disaffected teenagers who have yet to come to grips with the fact that life sucks.

Like a Saint
This song reminds me of the glory days of 80’s metal. I’m sure my metal purist friends may disagree, but the vocals and breakdowns just have a badass-ness that I can’t quite put my finger on. Probably the singing. You don’t hear too much actual singing in heavy songs anymore. It’s either raspy screaming or dog-fart grunting. The bass is loud and clear, and the guitar compliments the singing. Good stuff. Like if DRI teamed up with Lita Ford.

Blood Oranges
The singing at the beginning of this song is ok, but what really caught me is when her voice got quiet about 20 seconds in. The transition from upper-register to the low, near whisper was very much like Jucifer (who are bad ass btw). This song seems like it was recorded as an experiment in using different vocal effects. FX aside, Blood Oranges shows the range of the singer and along with Like a Saint, really shows how powerful her voice can be.

4 Song Review: Verner Caliper

Veteran Columbus rockers Verner Caliper seem to be a local enigma; they’ve been playing together for over 13 years and have yet to produce a full length album. They are also producing some of the most original rock songs that you (yes, YOU) have recently heard. Several of their songs are posted on their website vernercaliper.com, but to get a true sense of their sound, you must see their live show.

Background

The recorded version of this song found on their site is a few years old. It is charming at times, but tends to drag on a bit. The current version of the song however, is something to behold. This song reminds me of an old steam engine. It starts with a slight jolt and quickly finds its chugging rhythm, pounding steadily down the track. The older version of the song arrives safely at the next station, but in its current incarnation, the train loses control and settles into a barreling rampage. It does eventually reach the station, but the passengers are shaking and the conductor is drunk.

Collapse

This song is still one of VC’s staples even after 10 years. It begins soft and sensitive with a chiming, almost hypnotic guitar riff. The drums and bass join in and soon we are on a march to musical freedom, at least until the chorus rips our heads off. The maturity of this song is impressive, especially having been written in high school.

Cut and Dried

This catchy, fun little ditty will have you tapping a foot and maybe bobbing a head. Its high energy, feel-good rebelliousness, and 2 minute length will leave you wanting more.

In Response

While not technically a “new” song, this song is “newer” in terms of the Verner Caliper timeline. The opening electric riff is accompanied by a twelve string acoustic which combine for a haunting effect. If I had to compare this song to any other band it would probably be Rush, simply because of the complexity of the material, the timing changes, and the chops to pull it off. Songs like this just aren’t made very often.

Concert Review: Here Comes Your Weekend Parking Lot Blowout III

Surly Girl Saloon/Goody Boy Parking Lot, June 5 2008
Surly Girl (myspace), (Official Website)
Columbus Music Co-op (Myspace)

Here Comes Your Weekend Parking Lot Blowout is an annual concert/mini-festival sponsored by the Betty’s-family restaraunt group, Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and the Columbus Music Co-op. It is Free Admission, goes from 3 – Midnight, and had 11 bands play this year.

A great idea, run by great people.

I did have a problem with the concert as the sound up front was pretty terrible. The vocals were coming out of speakers positioned about 10 feet in front of the stage, which means they were behind all the people in front of the stage. What this means in layman’s terms is that if you wanted to actually be able to see a band play, you weren’t able to hear the vocals.

Here is this years line up, from first to last (with nifty descriptions and links!):
The Kyle Sowashes (link) (another link): too early for me.

Bush League All-Stars (link): I’ve wanted to see ’em for a while, but didn’t get there in time.

Vegetative State (link): They were finishing their last song as I was walking up. I wish I could have seen them, as I like their sense of humor and flashy ways. They describe their sound as “Shitt Christian homocore.”

Church of the Red Museum (link): I’ll be honest, they weren’t as impressive as I had been led to believe. With the exception of the girl with the horn and violin, they were all very trendy and d-baggy. Sorry Tom Butler, but you seem cooler on the radio. Musically, I think there is simply too much going on. They’re trying to go in every direction at once. Also, something else that bothered me is that everyone; guitars, bass, horn, violin, drums, electric piano, all played on the same beat. Hmm… maybe I didn’t phrase that properly. Every instrument played a note at the same time as every other instrument. There was very little overlapping sound. It might seem like a minor point, but it makes the music sound choppy. Perhaps that was the intention, but I didn’t care for it.

Lara Yazvac: Didn’t see her as I went to the Surly Girl for some shade and a place to sit. Ms. Yazvac is the singer for the Tough and Lovely. It would have been interesting to see what she did on her own without the rest of the band. You can listen to the Tough and Lovely here, as Lara doesn’t seem to have her own web site.

Brainbow (link) (another link): What hasn’t already been said about Brainbow by better critics than I? They were incredible, which is pretty neat-o for an instrumental band that looks like Vikings who have been on vacation too long. They sounded great, they held the crowd in the palm of their hands. I really wish I saw them play with Blueprint.

Fly Union (link): This was one of the worst rap groups I’ve ever seen or heard. Unimaginative, derivative, unoriginal, boring. At one point their DJ simply slid in an M.I.A. CD and hit play. I swear to god I am not making that up. The organizers would have been better off resurrecting the Columbus Mob’s carcass and putting them on stage. Columbus Alive should be seriously questioning why they put these guys on their “Bands to Watch” list.

Great Plains: Ron House’s newest (actually, oldest) endeavor. Great Plains was House’s band before the Slave Apartments, back in the ’80s. Before watching (and enjoying) Great Plains play, I hadn’t noticed just how much an influence Keith Morris (of Black Flag) had on old Ron. Which is both odd and sad on my part, as I’ve seen Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments more than a couple times and love early Black Flag. Meh, shit happens I suppose. Anyway, for looking like he’s 100 years old, the Old Man still has more fire in his left pinky finger than most front men have in their entire bodies.

El Jesus de Magico (link): El Jesus de Magico… I’m not sure what to say. Darlings of the Columbus music press and Donewaiting.com, El Jesus de Magico sounds ridiculously good. Although the singing tends to sound like someone yelling unintelligible gibberish. All the members of the band are fun to watch; interestingly enough, the singer/frontman is probably the least fun to watch. Although I did like how he timed his thrashing with the cymbals. Also, i KNOW I’ve seen the young lady who plays bass somewhere else. Is she in another band?

Times New Viking (link): Ok, I suck. This is one of those bands whom I’ve been meaning to see for years and just never got around to it. Now they are blowing up and this was their last show in Columbus before going on tour all over the place. Fuck. Oh, and of course I missed seeing them again this time.

Deadsea (link) (another link): I vow, right here right now, that I will see both Times New Viking and Deadsea before I die. And as a side-vow I pledge to be sober enough to remember seeing them!

Concert Review: Fly Union

Surly Girl Saloon’s Weekend Parking Lot Blowout III, July 5 2008
Fly Union (myspace)

Recently, a friend of mine asked me why I don’t review Columbus Hip Hop. The reason I gave was my unfamiliarity with the scene. At that point, I had not yet heard Fly Union.

My first exposure to Fly Union was at Surly Girl Saloon’s 3rd annual Weekend Parking Lot Blowout. My second exposure is listening to their music as I write this.

To be as blunt as possible, Fly Union represents virtually everything I despise about modern Hip Hop. Shout outs, commercialization, uninspiring lyrics and beats, derivative sound, shameless and pointless sampling. the list goes on and on.

Seeing them live, I was less than impressed. They wasted more than half of their 40 minute set by instructing the crowd to “put your hands up,” and “When I say fly, you say U.” That’s actually a pretty conservative estimate. I think I only heard about 5 minutes total of actual rapping. Four guys on stage and NONE of them rap?

Am I at a Mim’s show?

At one point towards the end of their set, during yet another call for the crowd to throw their hands up, the DJ played the opening riff from The Clash’s “Straight to Hell.” I thought, “how many rappers are going to sample this song now? It must be the new ‘hot’ track to sample.” But no, they weren’t sampling The Clash, they were sampling M.I.A. In fact, they weren’t even sampling, as the DJ simply played the fucking M.I.A. song! As in, he popped in the CD, and hit ‘Play’.

Listening to their tracks on Myspace, I’m still not impressed. It seems that all they are trying to do is sound like every other mainstream, commercial rapper on heavy rotation on Mtv or BET. Listen to just one of their songs, and you will be saying to yourself, “Gee, this sounds like [insert lame rapper’s name] with [insert lame DJ/producer’s name].”

Originality is NOT a bad thing. To me, Fly Union is the rap equivalent of all the lame-ass rock bands that try (and unfortunately succeed) to sound like Chavelle and Jack’s Mannequin; a fucking travesty.

I wouldn’t mind having someone volunteer to write Hip Hop reviews for me, as I have no time to add more concerts to my calendar. But please God, PLEASE, don’t make me listen to this derivative, pointless shit again.

Concert Review: Darynyck

Ruby Tuesday, June 26 2008
(Myspace)
(Official Website)
Darynyck was playing with the Fancy Lads at Ruby Tuesday. Two bands I haven’t previously seen live (but I have wanted to for a while) and a venue I like. So of course, I had to go.

I was sitting on the patio cooling off when my head started bobbing reflexively to some half heard music coming from inside. The sound was very poppy and joyful. I thought it was the Fancy Lads, as I thought they were first up. I went inside, and lo and behold! It was Darynyck pouring forth the joy!

This being the first time I’ve seen Darynyck live, I wasn’t sure what to expect. How could two guys perform the rich tones and sounds I’ve heard on recordings in a live concert? Ok, the only recordings I’ve heard have been on their Myspace site and their official band website. And we all (should) know by now how sucky Myspace’s compression is, combined with MP3 ‘quality’ sound. But those MP3 Myspace recordings sound good. However, I reviewed 4 of their songs already so back to the show.

The stage lights were bright at Ruby Tuesday. So bright that the band had to ask the people in charge to turn ’em down. From an audience standpoint, one of the things I like about Ruby Tuesday’s is that the stage is lit up while the audience area is dark. Think about it, how many other places around town are actually like that? A lit up stage and purposely darkened audience area? no strobes or disco balls? It’s like being in a theater.

Like other bands I’ve seen and liked (foid, for example), Daryn and Nyck exchanged instruments for different parts of the set. This exchange didn’t slow the pace of the show or ruin the mood either. That’s a pretty good feat to pull off.

At one point, Nyck (I’m pretty sure it was Nyck, if I’m mistaken, I apologize) played a cornet while drumming. Literally. Now, it wasn’t like he was blasting out some Louis Armstrong while beating out some Neil Peart drums, but the fact that he kept a beat with the drum AND played a cornet at the same time impressed both me and my date.

Speaking of my date, she was, in her own words, “swooning” for the band. The non-offensive but thoughtful lyrics and happy and rich music, as well as the two dudes’ winning stage personalities made them a great band to see live.

After a somewhat stressful and tiring day, a cold beer and some Darynyck was the best possible way to relax.

My only regret was that I had to leave immediately after the last song (Chaotic, one of the songs on the 4 Song Review I wrote earlier) and missed the Fancy Lads (and missed picking up Darynyck’s CD too).

Concert Review: Burning Brides, Evil Queens and Micah

Ravari Room, Thursday June 19, 2008

Burning Brides (band site) (Myspace)
Evil Queens (band site) (Myspace)
Micah (Two Cow Garage) (Myspace)

Last thursday, my lovely companion and I strolled on over to the Ravari Room for a little booze and a lot of rock ‘n roll. To be perfectly honest, we went there to see the Evil Queens, with whom i’ve had a musical crush on since I saw them open for High on Fire many years ago at Little Brothers. or did they open for the Melvins? Jesus, I must have been drinking that night.

anyway, I’m familiar with Two Cow Garage’s work to some degree, but not familiar with Micah. The following is the story of my first encounter with Micah from Two Cow Garage.

…

oh yeah, i didn’t actually ‘encounter’ him. I just watched his set. I probably should have been more clear on that.

Seeing a lone guy with an acoustic guitar take the stage always makes me instinctively wince. In fact, I remember precisely the only two times that I didn’t cringe when confronted by a lone acoustic guitarist on stage: the first time I saw Derek Deprator (but only the first time) and the couple times I saw Wolfgang Parker’s solo act at Andyman’s Treehouse.

However, this particular time seeing Micah clamber up the stage at Ravari Room, I immediately felt The Fear overtake my senses. It wasn’t until he started singing, that I knew why.

Micah is a wild eyed, wild haired guitarist who likes to make earnest, angsty faces while playing. He’s one of those dudes who is SO into what he’s singing that his body crumples into itself by the sheer weight of his depressing acoustic rock. His knees together, feet far apart, hunched over with his eyes closed, explaining how a girl who takes her clothes off for money is a product of circumstance.

All of his songs had an everyman (or everywoman) quality that reminded me of John Mellencamp. And that is when I smacked myself in the forehead.

Micah is Columbus’ own John Cougar, John Cougar Mellencamp, John Mellencamp, John Whatever-the-fuck-he’s calling himself this decade!

Musically or lyrically, there is no discernible difference! The lyrical content of the songs is strikingly similar; rock ‘n roll failings, country woes, sad strippers, bad luck, redemption, and generally sad shit.

His banter with his crowd of supporters was by contrast very upbeat and he seemed like a very personable fellow.

Before his last song, he struggled with a handless harmonica set-up and jokingly warned the crowd that the last song might not work as planned. He then said, “This is my last song. I might need some help from my friends.”

Impressively, he played guitar and harmonica at the same time, to the amazement of the crowd. The guy in the Confederate Stars and Bars cap was especially impressed. The song started slow and much like the previous songs.

Halfway through the song though, a bunch of dudes jumped on the stage and started plugging guitars and bass into amps and a big guy jumped behind the drum kit. I turned towards my ridiculously hot companion and said, “I think this is about to become awesome.”

And it did become awesome.

The song dropped from acoustic tear-in-your-beer douche-baggery to a full scale electric assault. The “friends” Micah mentioned earlier were none other than the Evil Queens! They (along with Micah) played fast and furious and ended the set on a definite high note.

The Evil Queens are hands down my favorite (and therefore the best) hard rock band in the city. Guitar-driven madness, I tells ya. So guitar driven, that a few times I completely forgot about the drummer. Not that he isn’t any good, in fact, he’s bad-ass too. He has to be, in order to be in such a kick ass outfit.

The Queens played some oldies, but also at least one new song that they never played in Columbus (and perhaps elsewhere) before.

Sorry if I can’t go into more detail about their set, I was too busy rockin’ out on the floor and drinkin’ pints of PBR (hey, I’m poor and PBR is cheap). There were a lot of people at the Ravari Room for a Thursday night, which the Queens’ singer made note of at least twice.

The Burning Brides were up next. I’ve previously seen the Burning Brides at least 4 times, and probably more than that. To be honest, I don’t remember much of this particular set. But i’m sure it was pretty much the same as the other ones that I do actually remember, as all of those were pretty much the same.

The dudes rock out, the chick rocks out (why is it that virtually all lone girls in a guy group play bass?), the crowd rocks out, the end.

well, that’s it. I suppose it’s funny how the meat of this review dealt mostly with the Micah, whom I didn’t care for, and very little with the two bands I do actually like.

Until next time, enjoy our Wild America.

4 Song Review: Darynyck

Darynyk (Band web site) (Myspace)

[Disclaimer: I hate to admit this, but these guys might be too good for me to review. Aw hell, i’ll try i guess. – TR]

no time
Starts slow with an acoustic guitar and soft, earnest vocals. This song makes me feel sad and introspective. Song slowly builds as electric guitar and bass are introduced. God, I want a beer to weep into. What have I been doing with my life? Daryn and Nyck’s vocals complement each other. very nice tune.

chaotic
thankfully more rocking than “no time.” This is a bit more light-hearted and straight-forward. “Oh, you got it.” Yeah, you do. Did I hear claps? Dang, I like songs with clapping in ’em. Makes me happy.

waiting
Geez, I was unprepared for the word, “Fuck” in this song because I don’t recall any swearing in any of the other songs. This is a break-up song. And a damn good one at that. I’m really diggin’ the harmonica and the vocals. Actually, I like everything about this song.

people get together
this song is like a mash up of every single 60’s everyone-be-happy song ever written. Tambourines and bell-bottoms, sideburns and Lennon sunglasses. A very happy song.

Dang it, I’m not used to having nothing to complain about. Damn you Darynyck! I’m going to go reread my review of Avionix to return myself to a more comfortable pissed-off state.

4 Song Review: The Injured Heads

The Injured Heads
Ohio
“Down by the river and i feel so good, O-HI-O” This would be a great song to listen to while smoking a pipe and fishing. The chorus is simple and catchy. Acoustic guitar and light drums. The recording could use some work, and the drums sound a little off around 1:30. That aside, it’s a nice summer time song.

Crossroads to Nowhere
Heavy electric guitar and drums on this one. Reminds me of early Black Sabbath. Ends abruptly at 1 minute, so I doubt it’s even finished. But I suppose that just goes with the title of the song.

Butter
Once again, heavy guitars and drums. Unlike “Crossroads,” this has vocals. Sabbath-y riffs, with punk drums. Sloppy in places, but I can see myself bangin’ my head to it.

Narc
Opening percussion reminds me of that 80’s song, “Hey Mickey.” That is, until the guitar jumps in. Some heavy punk shit here. Mostly instrumental; there are vocals but they are hard to make out. And then the song fades out. Track ends with someone (I think Jimmy Z) saying, “Let’s play Ohio.” So I’m thinkin’ these tracks were all recorded in one take at the same time. which isn’t a bad thing.