Month: December 2009

the bands myspace site
official site

I was at a Lackluster show and these dudes opened for them. I got a CD from them and told them I would review it. That was last Spring. It took me that long to finally work up the nerve to put this in my CD player. I wasn’t disappointed. Not because it is better than I expected, but because it is exactly what I expected. With a name like Miclordz & Soul Funky, there is very little room for doubt about the caliber of what I have put myself through.

I’ll just do a song-by-song summary.

Intro: the bands’ friends giving testimonials about how much “they make me move,” “make girls shake their ass,” and my favorite; “Mic Lordz & Sauce Funky are the past, the future, and most importantly, Mic Lordz & Sauce Funky is NOW.” and the whitest guy in the world saying, “the sickest funky beats!” Hilarious.

Start the Show: fast song about “let’s start the show.” Really digging the drums in this. This song is basically about how awesome the band is, how the ladies “get laid like futons,” and something about women having sex with them because “we’re number one!”

Funk You Up: this song reminds me the Kottonmouth Kings or the Phunk Junkeez. Not just reminds me of them, this could be a cover of either of those two bands.

First I’m Gonna…: Starts off with individual members of the band explaining how they think about music, the music industry, mainstream music, in previously recorded interviews. Song starts pretty slow, but picks up some steam around 40 seconds in. This is what could be considered the ‘introspective’ song of the album. Lyrically it is about “duckin’ drama,” and dedicating oneself to living life. The phrase, “going to see better days,” is repeated throughout.

Roll With Me: Begins with a guy listening to his voice mail messages. Some cool guitar gets ruined by some Fred Durst imitation raps. “Two shorties (dats right), gotta blunt with a bag, split it up like the jack pot. And now we smoke till we choke, I provoke to get up in that backseat (hopin’ I can poke).” For some reason they slow the song to morose levels then surge again with more rap-rockin’.

Why U So?: Once again the voice mail messages. The first is from some ho who expected the band to pay her tab because they are rock stars. The second message is a bar manager calling to tell them they didn’t pay their tab. The third is another ho who says she wants to go out but has no money and wants them to pay for her. The music once again the Phunk Junkeez, the chorus goes, “why U so, why U so, Why U so MONEY HunGRY!” More mentions of smoking reefer. Ha! they say something about “hungry skeeza’s” which is one of my favorite expressions.

All My People: Now it is the political do-gooder interview excerpts. You know the ones, where the person who is speaking talks earnestly and vaguely about people on the “other side of the world” who suffer because of “us.” Someone else chimes in about fighting the power or something, then another person says that music (I’m guessing the music of Miclordz & Sauce Funky) will bring the world together in peace. The actual song that follows is pretty much the same; but with rap-rock instead of spoken-word.

Rebelling… (R.A.P.E}: Begins with a skit about a girl getting a ride home from work from some dude. The dude says he wants to hook up, the girl says she just wants to be friends. The dude tries to kiss her, she says no, and then he apparently tries to rape her. Remember the Date Rape Song by Sublime? Remember how Sublime tempered the subject material of the song with comical justice and a fresh, fun musical style? This song has none of that. It’s depressing – for a “funk” band, a party band, why the hell would you write a depressing song? Do the frat dudes who listen to you really want to hear this?

Intervention: I’m really trying, but I have no idea what this song is about. If they made this into an instrumental jazz song, it would be worth listening to.

Smooth: Another Limp Bizkit-esque tune, with a jazzy-funky back beat. Apparently about a woman who is smooth.

We Get Live: Once again, a track that starts with pre-recorded interview soundbytes of the band talking about how great they are. I’m getting tired of this. This is like a Fred Durst-Red Hot Chili Peppers mash-up. I hate to keep mentioning Limp Bizkit, but god-damn, it’s everywhere in these songs. People stopped listening to that shit years ago. And furthermore, even the Chili Peppers stopped doing the funk-rock thing like 15 years ago. This is just tired, unoriginal, bland, gimmicky, trite, lame, boring music. Obviously made for frat boys and sorority sluts who like anything soulless as long as it gives the illusion of depth.

Dirty: meh, fuck it. I don’t care anymore.

Sunset Doze: Oh WOW! More soundbytes of the band speaking!

Sauce Funky, may I suggest two things? First, drop the Miclordz. Get them drunk, toss ’em out of the van, and drive off. Second, stop trying to revive rap-rock. It is a genre that should have began and ended with Rage Against the Machine. No one has ever been able to improve on that. Limp Bizkit sucked, Fred Durst sucked, the Phunk Junkeez sucked, and everyone else who has tried it has sucked. You want to call this “funk-rock” or something equivellant, but it’s not. It’s rap-rock. And it needs to die.