Concert Review: Here Comes Your Weekend Parking Lot Blowout III

Surly Girl Saloon/Goody Boy Parking Lot, June 5 2008
Surly Girl (myspace), (Official Website)
Columbus Music Co-op (Myspace)

Here Comes Your Weekend Parking Lot Blowout is an annual concert/mini-festival sponsored by the Betty’s-family restaraunt group, Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and the Columbus Music Co-op. It is Free Admission, goes from 3 – Midnight, and had 11 bands play this year.

A great idea, run by great people.

I did have a problem with the concert as the sound up front was pretty terrible. The vocals were coming out of speakers positioned about 10 feet in front of the stage, which means they were behind all the people in front of the stage. What this means in layman’s terms is that if you wanted to actually be able to see a band play, you weren’t able to hear the vocals.

Here is this years line up, from first to last (with nifty descriptions and links!):
The Kyle Sowashes (link) (another link): too early for me.

Bush League All-Stars (link): I’ve wanted to see ’em for a while, but didn’t get there in time.

Vegetative State (link): They were finishing their last song as I was walking up. I wish I could have seen them, as I like their sense of humor and flashy ways. They describe their sound as “Shitt Christian homocore.”

Church of the Red Museum (link): I’ll be honest, they weren’t as impressive as I had been led to believe. With the exception of the girl with the horn and violin, they were all very trendy and d-baggy. Sorry Tom Butler, but you seem cooler on the radio. Musically, I think there is simply too much going on. They’re trying to go in every direction at once. Also, something else that bothered me is that everyone; guitars, bass, horn, violin, drums, electric piano, all played on the same beat. Hmm… maybe I didn’t phrase that properly. Every instrument played a note at the same time as every other instrument. There was very little overlapping sound. It might seem like a minor point, but it makes the music sound choppy. Perhaps that was the intention, but I didn’t care for it.

Lara Yazvac: Didn’t see her as I went to the Surly Girl for some shade and a place to sit. Ms. Yazvac is the singer for the Tough and Lovely. It would have been interesting to see what she did on her own without the rest of the band. You can listen to the Tough and Lovely here, as Lara doesn’t seem to have her own web site.

Brainbow (link) (another link): What hasn’t already been said about Brainbow by better critics than I? They were incredible, which is pretty neat-o for an instrumental band that looks like Vikings who have been on vacation too long. They sounded great, they held the crowd in the palm of their hands. I really wish I saw them play with Blueprint.

Fly Union (link): This was one of the worst rap groups I’ve ever seen or heard. Unimaginative, derivative, unoriginal, boring. At one point their DJ simply slid in an M.I.A. CD and hit play. I swear to god I am not making that up. The organizers would have been better off resurrecting the Columbus Mob’s carcass and putting them on stage. Columbus Alive should be seriously questioning why they put these guys on their “Bands to Watch” list.

Great Plains: Ron House’s newest (actually, oldest) endeavor. Great Plains was House’s band before the Slave Apartments, back in the ’80s. Before watching (and enjoying) Great Plains play, I hadn’t noticed just how much an influence Keith Morris (of Black Flag) had on old Ron. Which is both odd and sad on my part, as I’ve seen Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments more than a couple times and love early Black Flag. Meh, shit happens I suppose. Anyway, for looking like he’s 100 years old, the Old Man still has more fire in his left pinky finger than most front men have in their entire bodies.

El Jesus de Magico (link): El Jesus de Magico… I’m not sure what to say. Darlings of the Columbus music press and Donewaiting.com, El Jesus de Magico sounds ridiculously good. Although the singing tends to sound like someone yelling unintelligible gibberish. All the members of the band are fun to watch; interestingly enough, the singer/frontman is probably the least fun to watch. Although I did like how he timed his thrashing with the cymbals. Also, i KNOW I’ve seen the young lady who plays bass somewhere else. Is she in another band?

Times New Viking (link): Ok, I suck. This is one of those bands whom I’ve been meaning to see for years and just never got around to it. Now they are blowing up and this was their last show in Columbus before going on tour all over the place. Fuck. Oh, and of course I missed seeing them again this time.

Deadsea (link) (another link): I vow, right here right now, that I will see both Times New Viking and Deadsea before I die. And as a side-vow I pledge to be sober enough to remember seeing them!

Concert Review: Fly Union

Surly Girl Saloon’s Weekend Parking Lot Blowout III, July 5 2008
Fly Union (myspace)

Recently, a friend of mine asked me why I don’t review Columbus Hip Hop. The reason I gave was my unfamiliarity with the scene. At that point, I had not yet heard Fly Union.

My first exposure to Fly Union was at Surly Girl Saloon’s 3rd annual Weekend Parking Lot Blowout. My second exposure is listening to their music as I write this.

To be as blunt as possible, Fly Union represents virtually everything I despise about modern Hip Hop. Shout outs, commercialization, uninspiring lyrics and beats, derivative sound, shameless and pointless sampling. the list goes on and on.

Seeing them live, I was less than impressed. They wasted more than half of their 40 minute set by instructing the crowd to “put your hands up,” and “When I say fly, you say U.” That’s actually a pretty conservative estimate. I think I only heard about 5 minutes total of actual rapping. Four guys on stage and NONE of them rap?

Am I at a Mim’s show?

At one point towards the end of their set, during yet another call for the crowd to throw their hands up, the DJ played the opening riff from The Clash’s “Straight to Hell.” I thought, “how many rappers are going to sample this song now? It must be the new ‘hot’ track to sample.” But no, they weren’t sampling The Clash, they were sampling M.I.A. In fact, they weren’t even sampling, as the DJ simply played the fucking M.I.A. song! As in, he popped in the CD, and hit ‘Play’.

Listening to their tracks on Myspace, I’m still not impressed. It seems that all they are trying to do is sound like every other mainstream, commercial rapper on heavy rotation on Mtv or BET. Listen to just one of their songs, and you will be saying to yourself, “Gee, this sounds like [insert lame rapper’s name] with [insert lame DJ/producer’s name].”

Originality is NOT a bad thing. To me, Fly Union is the rap equivalent of all the lame-ass rock bands that try (and unfortunately succeed) to sound like Chavelle and Jack’s Mannequin; a fucking travesty.

I wouldn’t mind having someone volunteer to write Hip Hop reviews for me, as I have no time to add more concerts to my calendar. But please God, PLEASE, don’t make me listen to this derivative, pointless shit again.

Concert Review: Darynyck

Ruby Tuesday, June 26 2008
(Myspace)
(Official Website)
Darynyck was playing with the Fancy Lads at Ruby Tuesday. Two bands I haven’t previously seen live (but I have wanted to for a while) and a venue I like. So of course, I had to go.

I was sitting on the patio cooling off when my head started bobbing reflexively to some half heard music coming from inside. The sound was very poppy and joyful. I thought it was the Fancy Lads, as I thought they were first up. I went inside, and lo and behold! It was Darynyck pouring forth the joy!

This being the first time I’ve seen Darynyck live, I wasn’t sure what to expect. How could two guys perform the rich tones and sounds I’ve heard on recordings in a live concert? Ok, the only recordings I’ve heard have been on their Myspace site and their official band website. And we all (should) know by now how sucky Myspace’s compression is, combined with MP3 ‘quality’ sound. But those MP3 Myspace recordings sound good. However, I reviewed 4 of their songs already so back to the show.

The stage lights were bright at Ruby Tuesday. So bright that the band had to ask the people in charge to turn ’em down. From an audience standpoint, one of the things I like about Ruby Tuesday’s is that the stage is lit up while the audience area is dark. Think about it, how many other places around town are actually like that? A lit up stage and purposely darkened audience area? no strobes or disco balls? It’s like being in a theater.

Like other bands I’ve seen and liked (foid, for example), Daryn and Nyck exchanged instruments for different parts of the set. This exchange didn’t slow the pace of the show or ruin the mood either. That’s a pretty good feat to pull off.

At one point, Nyck (I’m pretty sure it was Nyck, if I’m mistaken, I apologize) played a cornet while drumming. Literally. Now, it wasn’t like he was blasting out some Louis Armstrong while beating out some Neil Peart drums, but the fact that he kept a beat with the drum AND played a cornet at the same time impressed both me and my date.

Speaking of my date, she was, in her own words, “swooning” for the band. The non-offensive but thoughtful lyrics and happy and rich music, as well as the two dudes’ winning stage personalities made them a great band to see live.

After a somewhat stressful and tiring day, a cold beer and some Darynyck was the best possible way to relax.

My only regret was that I had to leave immediately after the last song (Chaotic, one of the songs on the 4 Song Review I wrote earlier) and missed the Fancy Lads (and missed picking up Darynyck’s CD too).

Concert Review: Burning Brides, Evil Queens and Micah

Ravari Room, Thursday June 19, 2008

Burning Brides (band site) (Myspace)
Evil Queens (band site) (Myspace)
Micah (Two Cow Garage) (Myspace)

Last thursday, my lovely companion and I strolled on over to the Ravari Room for a little booze and a lot of rock ‘n roll. To be perfectly honest, we went there to see the Evil Queens, with whom i’ve had a musical crush on since I saw them open for High on Fire many years ago at Little Brothers. or did they open for the Melvins? Jesus, I must have been drinking that night.

anyway, I’m familiar with Two Cow Garage’s work to some degree, but not familiar with Micah. The following is the story of my first encounter with Micah from Two Cow Garage.

oh yeah, i didn’t actually ‘encounter’ him. I just watched his set. I probably should have been more clear on that.

Seeing a lone guy with an acoustic guitar take the stage always makes me instinctively wince. In fact, I remember precisely the only two times that I didn’t cringe when confronted by a lone acoustic guitarist on stage: the first time I saw Derek Deprator (but only the first time) and the couple times I saw Wolfgang Parker’s solo act at Andyman’s Treehouse.

However, this particular time seeing Micah clamber up the stage at Ravari Room, I immediately felt The Fear overtake my senses. It wasn’t until he started singing, that I knew why.

Micah is a wild eyed, wild haired guitarist who likes to make earnest, angsty faces while playing. He’s one of those dudes who is SO into what he’s singing that his body crumples into itself by the sheer weight of his depressing acoustic rock. His knees together, feet far apart, hunched over with his eyes closed, explaining how a girl who takes her clothes off for money is a product of circumstance.

All of his songs had an everyman (or everywoman) quality that reminded me of John Mellencamp. And that is when I smacked myself in the forehead.

Micah is Columbus’ own John Cougar, John Cougar Mellencamp, John Mellencamp, John Whatever-the-fuck-he’s calling himself this decade!

Musically or lyrically, there is no discernible difference! The lyrical content of the songs is strikingly similar; rock ‘n roll failings, country woes, sad strippers, bad luck, redemption, and generally sad shit.

His banter with his crowd of supporters was by contrast very upbeat and he seemed like a very personable fellow.

Before his last song, he struggled with a handless harmonica set-up and jokingly warned the crowd that the last song might not work as planned. He then said, “This is my last song. I might need some help from my friends.”

Impressively, he played guitar and harmonica at the same time, to the amazement of the crowd. The guy in the Confederate Stars and Bars cap was especially impressed. The song started slow and much like the previous songs.

Halfway through the song though, a bunch of dudes jumped on the stage and started plugging guitars and bass into amps and a big guy jumped behind the drum kit. I turned towards my ridiculously hot companion and said, “I think this is about to become awesome.”

And it did become awesome.

The song dropped from acoustic tear-in-your-beer douche-baggery to a full scale electric assault. The “friends” Micah mentioned earlier were none other than the Evil Queens! They (along with Micah) played fast and furious and ended the set on a definite high note.


The Evil Queens are hands down my favorite (and therefore the best) hard rock band in the city. Guitar-driven madness, I tells ya. So guitar driven, that a few times I completely forgot about the drummer. Not that he isn’t any good, in fact, he’s bad-ass too. He has to be, in order to be in such a kick ass outfit.

The Queens played some oldies, but also at least one new song that they never played in Columbus (and perhaps elsewhere) before.

Sorry if I can’t go into more detail about their set, I was too busy rockin’ out on the floor and drinkin’ pints of PBR (hey, I’m poor and PBR is cheap). There were a lot of people at the Ravari Room for a Thursday night, which the Queens’ singer made note of at least twice.

The Burning Brides were up next. I’ve previously seen the Burning Brides at least 4 times, and probably more than that. To be honest, I don’t remember much of this particular set. But i’m sure it was pretty much the same as the other ones that I do actually remember, as all of those were pretty much the same.

The dudes rock out, the chick rocks out (why is it that virtually all lone girls in a guy group play bass?), the crowd rocks out, the end.

well, that’s it. I suppose it’s funny how the meat of this review dealt mostly with the Micah, whom I didn’t care for, and very little with the two bands I do actually like.

Until next time, enjoy our Wild America.

4 Song Review: Darynyck

Darynyk (Band web site) (Myspace)

[Disclaimer: I hate to admit this, but these guys might be too good for me to review. Aw hell, i’ll try i guess. – TR]

no time
Starts slow with an acoustic guitar and soft, earnest vocals. This song makes me feel sad and introspective. Song slowly builds as electric guitar and bass are introduced. God, I want a beer to weep into. What have I been doing with my life? Daryn and Nyck’s vocals complement each other. very nice tune.

chaotic
thankfully more rocking than “no time.” This is a bit more light-hearted and straight-forward. “Oh, you got it.” Yeah, you do. Did I hear claps? Dang, I like songs with clapping in ’em. Makes me happy.

waiting
Geez, I was unprepared for the word, “Fuck” in this song because I don’t recall any swearing in any of the other songs. This is a break-up song. And a damn good one at that. I’m really diggin’ the harmonica and the vocals. Actually, I like everything about this song.

people get together
this song is like a mash up of every single 60’s everyone-be-happy song ever written. Tambourines and bell-bottoms, sideburns and Lennon sunglasses. A very happy song.

Dang it, I’m not used to having nothing to complain about. Damn you Darynyck! I’m going to go reread my review of Avionix to return myself to a more comfortable pissed-off state.

4 Song Review: The Injured Heads

The Injured Heads
Ohio
“Down by the river and i feel so good, O-HI-O” This would be a great song to listen to while smoking a pipe and fishing. The chorus is simple and catchy. Acoustic guitar and light drums. The recording could use some work, and the drums sound a little off around 1:30. That aside, it’s a nice summer time song.

Crossroads to Nowhere
Heavy electric guitar and drums on this one. Reminds me of early Black Sabbath. Ends abruptly at 1 minute, so I doubt it’s even finished. But I suppose that just goes with the title of the song.

Butter
Once again, heavy guitars and drums. Unlike “Crossroads,” this has vocals. Sabbath-y riffs, with punk drums. Sloppy in places, but I can see myself bangin’ my head to it.

Narc
Opening percussion reminds me of that 80’s song, “Hey Mickey.” That is, until the guitar jumps in. Some heavy punk shit here. Mostly instrumental; there are vocals but they are hard to make out. And then the song fades out. Track ends with someone (I think Jimmy Z) saying, “Let’s play Ohio.” So I’m thinkin’ these tracks were all recorded in one take at the same time. which isn’t a bad thing.

Concert Review: Avionix

Billiard Club/Pub 161, May 30

“One of these things is not like the other.”

that was my first thought watching Avionix headline at the Billiard Club/Pub 161. Visually, Avionix is 3 frat “bro’s” and the fat kid they picked on freshman year. The frat kids needed a bassist, so they went to the fat kid promising they would stop making fun of him and get him laid.

Ok, I admit that was pretty mean. But I find it hard not to be mean after the excruciating pain my ears went through listening to their college-top 40-rock crap. If i wanted to listen to the radio, i would have turned on a fucking radio. And then I would immediately turn it off, cause the only music coming out of it is shit.

Just like most bands of this type (guys with a little bit of talent who just want to get laid by groupie sluts), they are more concerned with sounding like someone already famous than finding their own sound. They are all decent musicians, but there is little creativity at all. There is no soul.

My friend from Vegas who was in attendance described them thusly, “It’s like Muse without the talent.”

Another friend at the show said, “It’s one continuous horrible song that never ends.” I know for a fact that it wasn’t just one long, terrible song because the singer/guitarist kept offering the audience song titles. However, if he hadn’t of done that, i would have just thought they were playing the same song over and over again, using different effects pedals at different parts.

For all the unkind words, Avionix does have one thing going for them. They have a built in audience. College-age preppy girls eat this shit up. Anything remotely sounding like a Muse/Chevelle/Maroon 5 cover band is going to be pretty popular in certain places in the city. Avionix will probably be very popular (if they already aren’t) in places like CBR’s, or any number of campus bars.

oh, one other thing. Bass player, is it really necessary for you to perform a ridiculous amount of arm and leg stretches before you take the stage to just stand there and play a bass? I know you probably thought it made you look tough and edgy, but dude. seriously. You weren’t leap-kicking off the drum riser or anything.

In closing, I will paraphrase Wolverine and say that;

Avionix is good at what they do, and what they do ain’t nice.

Venue Review: Andyman’s Treehouse

so, Andyman and Quinn Fallon (that guy from X-Rated Cowboys who is running the bar EVERY TIME i’ve ever been to the Treehouse) have decided to sell Andyman’s Treehouse. I don’t know to who it has been sold, but i DO know that i don’t like this news.

If you haven’t been (and you should go tonight, tomorrow, saturday and sunday before it changes hands on Monday) Andyman’s is named after the CD101 dj who co-owns(ed) the joint. it is called the Treehouse because it has a decent sized tree growing in the center of it. around the tree are benches, for you see, you can sit in the the tree, and watch a band play. or listen to a stand-up comedian. or chat with whoever your with. or drink in solitude.

good beer selection, always friendly bar staff (well, it used to be. i don’t know what’s going to happen after Monday), comfortable couches, an elvis lamp, only 1 pool table and a coed restroom.

Andyman’s Treehouse is (or was) the cat’s pajamas.

Song Review: Emocide by Yesterday’s Youth

Yesterday’s Youth is a hardcore band. sounds pretty simple, huh? there’s a little more to it than that. the term “hardcore” in music can mean a lot of things these days. It can mean a bunch of little whiney pussies whining about how their pussies hurt.

OR, it can describe a band of violent, drunken bastards who want to smash, crush, and destroy everything in their path.

Yesterday’s Youth is the latter. Their song “Emocide” is about the former.

keep it up guys. we need you.

Yesterday’s Youth don’t slouch in the touring department either. They are always on the road. check them out on Myspace for songs and tour dates and such. Also, i hear their singer will give you a tattoo.

Song Review: Anthills by Blue Eyed Gunslingers

“Anthills” starts with a great little rockabilly intro. It quickly turns into a Monster Magnet-ish rock jam, and then reverts back into the previous rockabilly awesomeness.

i like knee-slappin’ music, and this song delivers that, albeit only temporarily. If the entire song were like that, it would be awesome. unfortunately, i can’t stand Monster Magnet.

have at ye.