Venue Review - rpg punk

St. James Tavern

St. James Tavern is an inconspicuous little bar on 4th Street and Detroit Avenue in Italian Village. I first came here when I was 21 or 22, but didn’t really return until I was 24 or 25 (my polish brother, the legendary Brett (from foid, Hotel War, and Vietnam II: oOo! Shameless name-drop!), lived on Detroit so we would walk to the bar frequently). There are two pool tables, chairs and tables all around, and a long bar with stools. They don’t serve food, they don’t have shitty cover bands, and (most importantly) they don’t have a TV.

What they do have is great beer, great prices, atmosphere (something that is seriously lacking in most every other establishment in Columbus), and the best jukebox in the city.

However, all of that has been said by other people already. What is new? What hasn’t been said about St. James Tavern yet?

They specialize in imports and microbrews; especially the rarer high alcohol content ales. The Bourbon Barrel Stout is ridiculous.
My friends and I got a nice special price on Beck’s Dark because they were trying to get rid of them. Fine by me; I give those Hessian bastards a new home in my tummy!
Three kegs of Affligem Noel are available in the city; St. James has two of them.
The clientele is predominantly college hipsters; although a faithful older crowd of former college hipsters fills in the gaps on off-days.
The place is dark. The lighting is kept to a minimum, but not to the point where you get squinty trying to strain your eyes. The music is loud, but not overbearingly loud. It creates a very intimate atmosphere even when the place is jammed with people.
Wood covers EVERYTHING.
There is graffiti in the men’s room that says something along the lines of, “This isn’t a ladies room; keep the seat up.”
Speaking of the Men’s room; it was stocked with soap and paper towels!
I know nothing of the Women’s restroom except from the few, instinctive and unintentional peeks I got while playing pool at various visits. Dude’s can’t help that reaction. It’s not that we’re being pervy, it’s just that the Women’s room is like the last frontier for men; an unexplored mystery where women (who we are most interested in but can’t seem to understand) seem to congregate (and, we think, to talk about us).
Simpson’s Pinball. That should be self-explanatory.

It seems as if it has been Winter, late Fall, or early Spring every time I’ve been there. I associate the place with visible breath, scarves, and floppy knit hats.

You can find St. James Tavern online on Facebook, Twitter, and their own website. Facebook and Twitter are updated frequently, so those are your best bet to find out what’s on tap on any given day.

Used Kid’s Records

According to Used Kid’s Records, the proper way to support local music is to tell anyone who suggests how to better support said music to go fuck themselves.

Around 10 years ago, a clerk at Used Kid’s pissed me off so much on my very first visit (at their old location) that I never went back until 2 years ago. I only went back on that occasion to please my then-girlfriend. I was impressed with the new location and was hit on by some random hot chick while smoking a cigarette outside. So it was a good second impression.
Since then, Used Kid’s has become my go-to record store. Not because it is better in any way than any other record store, but because it’s close to where I live and easy to get to.
So, just like many other people, I befriended Used Kid’s on Facebook. This led to the record store inviting me (twice) to an event called, “Weekend of Mayhem.” Weekend of Mayhem is an event with live music, record deals, and is advertised as such, “Please come out and support your local independent record store as well as your local music scene.”
I think I do a fairly decent job in supporting the local music scene. I give free press to local bands, I stroke their egos, give creative criticism, go to their concerts, and buy their CDs and vinyl records. So, being the supporter of local music that I am, I suggested, in an admittedly snarky way, that Used Kid’s could do just a tiny bit more for local music than what they are currently doing.
this is the result.
Yes, you read that right. For my suggestion of moving the local music section nearer the register and out of a box on the floor, I have been called a “dickweed” by the official Used Kid’s facebook page. Think about that for a moment, but not too long, as the story continues!
Used Kid’s, in their infinite wisdom, made two identical event pages for Weekend of Mayhem. So I wrote the exact same thing on the second page that I wrote on the first. This is the response and boy, it’s a doozy!
In case you can’t see it for some reason, here is a screenshot

So, an employee, who is an actual representative of the store, told me to “shove it up my ass.”
See folks, that’s a classy lady right there. All this time, I thought I knew what it was to support local music. But I was obviously very wrong.
According to Used Kid’s Records, the proper way to support local music is to tell anyone who suggests how to better support said music to go fuck themselves. Obviously they are right, because several people “liked” what they have to say and even defend their position. Well, okay, their defense isn’t really all that good, since he just called a local musician and myself “douche bags.”
I will provide no links to Used Kid’s Records as I have no interest in generating any business for them at this time. If you want to buy records from stores not operated by dickheads, spend your money at these fine establishments:
Spoonful Records
116 E Long St
Columbus, OH 43215
Lost Weekend Records
2960 North High Street
Columbus, OH 43202-1136
Magnolia Thunderpussy
1155 North High Street
Columbus, Ohio 43201
[Edit: I have no issue with the owners of Used Kid’s Records. I sincerely doubt that Ron or Dan even know about any of this. Although the girl who told me to “shove it up my ass” is apparently Dan’s daughter, I have no reason to believe that he or Ron House feel the same way. But it does not change the fact that I will no longer shop at their store, nor will I encourage anyone else to shop there.]

Mini-Review: KOBO

A few weeks ago my buddy Jon of Lackluster (shameless name-drop) asked me if I wanted to go see Historians play a free show at Oldfields on High. I said, “sure” as I don’t mind Historians and hey, it’s free, ya know?

So we get there and of course it is right smack dab in the middle of OSU’s Senior Crawl. Like my friend Bridgit would say, it was like I was in the middle of an episode of Jersey Shore that continued for hours. Are all college girls whores, or just the ones that go out in public? Ah, but I digress…

We walk in and notice everyone working is wearing Evolved t-shirts. The place also seemed… different, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Outside smoking a cigarette, I talked to the door-guy and he said the bar was recently bought out and is being renamed, “KOBO.” I asked him why the name change, as Oldfield’s has been around forever and people recognize it. He said he didn’t know but I could ask the owner and pointed out a 14-year old kid moving boxes of beer around.

That 14-year old kid is actually Jacob Wooten (who is 26 years old). He’s a member of the band, The Pinkertone’s and bought Oldfield’s with the owner of Evolved.

To be honest, I was dismayed by the name change and unsure of the direction the place was going to go. However, I’ve changed my mind and think it’s pretty brilliant.

Kobo means an artist’s work space in Japanese. The idea behind KOBO is that Wooten wanted to make a bar that caters to bands, not the other way around. He’s taken down all the beer signs and put up old flyers and posters (many, if not all, seemingly from the old High Five) of local bands. The shit-beer has been taken off the taps and replaced with imports and micro-brews. Sound dampening has been installed behind the stage, and in general, the place looks more cleaned up.

He even took out the cable television! Which is brilliant because even I have found myself being drawn into a T.V. when I should be paying attention to the band on stage.

I think the idea is great, and within 4 years no one will even care that Oldfield’s on High is gone. I wish KOBO and Wooten the best, and I hope to make it back often. check out http://www.kobolive.com for more info on upcoming shows.

In other news, that same night I went skinny-dipping for the first time in my life, met some awesome dudes in a band called, Spruce Campbells (seriously, these guys were sweet), and somehow emailed myself something about a band called, “Barker’s Beauties” which I think may be linked to Spruce Campbells? I have no idea. If anyone can help me out with Barker’s Beauties, I would appreciate it.

Venue Review: Andyman’s Treehouse

so, Andyman and Quinn Fallon (that guy from X-Rated Cowboys who is running the bar EVERY TIME i’ve ever been to the Treehouse) have decided to sell Andyman’s Treehouse. I don’t know to who it has been sold, but i DO know that i don’t like this news.

If you haven’t been (and you should go tonight, tomorrow, saturday and sunday before it changes hands on Monday) Andyman’s is named after the CD101 dj who co-owns(ed) the joint. it is called the Treehouse because it has a decent sized tree growing in the center of it. around the tree are benches, for you see, you can sit in the the tree, and watch a band play. or listen to a stand-up comedian. or chat with whoever your with. or drink in solitude.

good beer selection, always friendly bar staff (well, it used to be. i don’t know what’s going to happen after Monday), comfortable couches, an elvis lamp, only 1 pool table and a coed restroom.

Andyman’s Treehouse is (or was) the cat’s pajamas.

Venue Review: Billiard Club/Pub 161

The Billiard Club/Pub 161 is one of those places that could be awesome, but for a few annoying reasons, it isn’t. It is mostly a hard-rock club and has a Tuesday Night Acoustic Open Mic.

Good points: Lots of pool tables; both coin and hourly. Servers who take orders from the pool tables. Impressive beer selection compared to a lot of other places. The bartenders are not stuck-up bitches. Lots of tables in the bar section; several booths along two walls. Good P.A. system the last time I was there, but previous visits were not as impressive.

Bad Points: Lots of thugs and wannabe-thugs. This probably has a lot to do with the location. All of the booths are along the walls, which means you can’t see the stage (or get only a partial view) if you sit in a booth. The club charges about 2 bucks for both Coke AND water! Rarely is there a large audience, most people come to see their friends play and then leave.

Venue Review: Skully’s Music Diner

For those that care, Skully’s is consistently voted, year after year, Columbus’ Best Singles Scene. I have personally witnessed many a drunken hook-up at Skully’s so I can attest to this.

Good points: There is always at least one band worth listening to on any given night. They usually have at least one free concert per week too. They have 18+ shows all the time. Ladies 80’s is a HUGE draw. Coat check in winter. Decent food. Service Industry Night on Tuesdays (Service industry employees pay 1/2 price for drinks). Smoking patios in the front and back.

Bad Points: Only 1 pool table (however, it is located on the balcony, which is awesome), the bartenders can be dicks (or bitches as the case may be). The scenester kids can be either incredibly hilarious or ridiculously annoying. It is impossible to not be accosted by bums if you’re standing out front. I recommend using the back patio to smoke, as it is much larger and enclosed by a fence.

Venue Review: Ravari Room

To see a metal show, the Ravari Room is the place to do it.

Good Points: Small enough and discriminating enough to bring in real metal and punk acts. Servers with Hounddog’s Pizza menu’s until Happy Hour is over. The best Happy Hour in town. 3 pool tables. Friendly (with 1 exception) bar staff. Awesome jukebox. Pinball.

Bad Points: Parking can be a pain. One of the bartenders (squirrelly looking dork with glasses) is a complete asshole. But there are several others who are very nice. Restrooms are always nasty. That’s about it.

Venue Review: Newport Music Hall

The Newport is the oldest continuously running concert venue in the United States. Virtually every big name has played the Newport at one time or another, which is sad because of the state of disrepair the venerable building is in right now.

Promowest doesn’t seem to know what to do with the place. On the one hand, they seem to recognize that Columbus needs a venue with 1200 person capacity to attract mid-sized bands and that they can make money out of that need.

On the other hand, Promowest doesn’t seem to give a shit about upkeep or their customers. They removed the only drinking fountain, the restrooms haven’t been cleaned in years, and they vastly overcharge for water and beer.

the water thing is what really pisses me off though. when i was a teenager, that water fountain was the only thing that kept me alive through many a nights’ mosh pit. and those pig-fuckers at Promowest took out the water fountain and force dkids to pay… what is it now? 3 bucks for a bottle of water?!?!

fuck promowest. someone needs to buy out the Newport before those shitheels run it completely into the ground.

Venue Review: Bernie’s Bagels and Distillery

Bernie’s is the best place in the city to see a punk band. It is truly an underground marvel set about 20 feet below street level. the stage is only 2 inches high to give the bands headroom from the pipes and electrical conduits in the ceiling.

Surprisingly large beer selection, an outdoor patio, cheap cover charges even for national acts.

Bernie’s is currently, and has been for quite some time, my favorite place to see a show.

Venue Review: High 5 Bar and Grill

High 5 is like the unfortunate middle kid of the family, with Bernie’s being the older brother, and Ravari being the younger sister.

Bernie’s gets the good punk bands and real underground shit, Ravari gets the best metal bands and some really good punk acts, and poor High 5 gets the crap that’s left over.

Back in the day, before High 5 was bought out and renovated, it was a dark, seamy night club that had a dark seamy atmosphere. Nowadays the entire front wall has been replaced with huge windows, the DJ booth looks like some kind of flying saucer, and the bartenders are some of the biggest assholes in the city.

With the exception of the occasional MC Chris concert, there really is no reason to go to High 5 anymore. Unless you want to be treated rudely by people with lame tattoos who wear pants 3 sizes too small.

they serve food, but i’ve never ordered anything. the reason for this is because i’ve looked into the kitchen when the door swung open. no thank you.

all that being said, High 5 always has an exceptional beer selection. which is amusing since 99% of all High 5 patrons drink PBR. you know, PBR, the beer for douche-bag scene kids.