Commander EDH: Red Land Destruction

When we aren’t playing RPGs, we play Magic the Gathering. Specifically, we play Commander/EDH format.

I like to make decks based on stuff I haven’t tried before. This deck is solid Red, a color I rarely use, and based on land destruction, which is vilified and hated by basically everyone. I’ve used it three times; each time with a different Commander. The first time it did okay, but I wasn’t paying attention and used a terrible card as my commander. The second time I was the first one out because everyone was scared. The third time I won by using Obliterate to clear the board then pecking the shit out of the other players with goblins because I could get them out before the other players could play anything.

After each time using this deck, I’ve modified it based on the play experience. This is the most current iteration.

I don’t want the land destruction element to be obvious, and I don’t want to destroy my own lands except as a last resort. Cards like Stone Rain or Rain of Salt are too limited in the EDH format so I removed them after the first go around with this deck. This is not meant to be a competitive deck (I just play casual with friends), and we don’t pay any attention to ban lists of any sort. Also, I have a very limited budget (I got Wheel of Fortune out of a booster pack when Revised was new).

Name: haven’t thought of one yet.

Commander:

Chandra, Fire of Kaladesh

Planeswalkers:

Jaya, Venerated Firemage
Chandra, Bold Pyromancer – creature wipe
Chandra, the Firebrand

Creatures:

Goblin Razerunners
Neheb, the Eternal
Krenko, Mob Boss
Goblin Chieftain
Goblin King
Battle Squadron
Skirk Prospector
Gempalm Incinerator
Shivan Wumpus
Goblin Fireslinger
Goblin Wardriver
Goblin Welder
Keldon Warlord
Kazuul, Tyrant of the Cliffs
Clamor Shaman
Goblin Rabblemaster
Goblin Glory Chaser
Myojin of Infinite Rage – land wipe
Squee, the Immortal
Sisters of the Flame
Wildfire Eternal
Goblin Motivator

Enchantments:

Goblin Caves
Conquer
Rumbling Crescendo – land wipe
Sarkhan’s Unsealing
Goblin War Drums
Goblin Warrens
Custody Battle

Artifacts:

Darksteel Ingot
Steel Hellkite
Pilgrim’s Eye
God-Pharaoh’s Statue – makes losing your lands even worse
Feldon’s Cane
Crucible of Worlds
That Which Was Taken
Goblin Charbelcher
Sol Ring
Burnished Hart
Throne of the God-Pharaoh
Soul of New Phyrexia
Solemn Simulacrum

Instants:

Radiating Lightning
Desperate Ritual
Lightning Strike
Lightning Bolt
Mudhole – remove all lands from target player’s graveyard
Sarkhan’s Catharsis
Smelt
Shivan Fire

Sorceries:

Relentless Assault
Wake of Destruction – land wipe
Violent Impact
Sarkhan’s Dragonfire
Blasphemous Act – creature wipe
Disintegrate
Goblin Barrage
Surreal Memoir
Act of Treason
Wheel of Fortune
Cleaver Riot
Chandra’s Outburst
Obliterate – last resort board wipe
Fight with Fire
From the Ashes – non-basic land wipe (which is why my lands are all Mountains)

Land:

Darksteel Citadel
Mountain x30

Total Party Kill

Art by Paul Bonner

For the second adventure in Hubris, I chose the DCC RPG zero level funnel, Sailors on the Starless Sea.

I chose this one because there were only two level 1 characters left from the last adventure, and I’ve never gotten to run what many consider to be the “classic” DCC funnel.

Since we’re playing in Hubris, though, I had to change some things.

While planning/prepping, I determined that the main bad guys I was going to work with were the Murder Machines, Black Queen, and Floating Island of Terror.

So I changed all of the beastmen from the original adventure into Murder Machines. To do this, I simply upped their AC by 2 and decreased their Hit Points.

I took out the vine-horror monsters entirely.

The final battle on the island within the Starless Sea was changed too. The Murder Machines were taking the kidnapped villagers to the island and throwing them (under the direction of a priest/artificer and his acolytes) into a machine that was powered by magma and magic. This machine converted the villagers into Murder Machines. The idea being that the Black Queen was creating these seeding operations all over the place to cause mayhem.

The high priest/artificer had another trick up his sleeve, though; the Mega Murder Machine! Five victims were transformed into a single gigantic murder machine with a cannon arm.

The two leveled characters were a Cleric of the God of the Terrible Whisper and a regular DCC Wizard.

The rest were zeroes created using the Crawler Companion app.

The players decided to scale the rubble outside the castle rather than go in the front entrance. This led to the first death as the rubble gave way and crushed a zero. They then found the entrance to the cursed tomb of the warlord (being from the area, they knew the story of the warlords of chaos from ancient times. I used it as a red herring) where they slipped and slid and almost died from freezing to death. Eventually they made it back to surface inside the castle. They ignored the stone, the wizard discovered the bonus magical effect of the well.

The burnt church scared them so much they didn’t want to check it out at first but eventually figured out the connection between the incense and the ooze monster. They took the incense with them.

They attempted to leave the castle through the front gate but the murder machines above dropped the portcullis, narrowly missing one of them. The wizard cast a spell that made one of the zeroes gigantic, and they lifted the portcullis up, then kicked in the door to the tower, and clobbered the murder machines running across the top of the wall. The other characters entered the tower and were ambushed by more murder machines who killed several of the characters.

After defeating the monsters, they found the bodies of dozens of villagers and even some left alive. Those living villagers joined their ranks as additional zeroes.

They found the skulls in the pool and took some of those with them as they descended down to the starless sea.

Most of them went insane from trying to read the ziggurat, but after being beaten senseless, they summoned the boat and went aboard.

The kraken attacked as they ignored numerous clues I gave them about the incense or sacrificing a victim, etc. Couple more were killed before they did enough damage for the kraken to retreat.

When they made it to the island they were down to the two level ones and three zeroes.

The original adventure has the final battle consist of 20 beastmen, three priests, and a demon. That wasn’t going to work here. I dropped the number of baddies to 5 murder machines, a priest, 2 acolytes, and a MEGA Murder Machine.

The PCs managed to get a surprise attack in before the bad guys knew what was going on. After the battle started, things did not go well for the characters. Their zeroes all died almost immediately. Some of the captive villagers got some courage and fought back against the bad guys (two more zeroes for the PCs) but were killed.

Finally, after defeating all of the Murder Machines, the Mega Murder Machine, and the Acolytes, all the player characters were dead except for the Cleric and the Wizard, but the Wizard was unconscious. The Cleric faced off against the evil Priest of the Floating Island of Terror. The priest had already used his black powder pistol and was down to a dagger. The Cleric had a sickle. They both sucked at attack rolls.

Eventually, though, the evil priest hit and killed the Cleric.

The end.

Total Party Kill.

My first TPK in 25 years of gaming.

The interesting thing about it was that the players didn’t really mind. They thought the adventure was fantastic and want to play it again!

Hubris DCC RPG funnel play report

So I ran the zero-level funnel included with the Hubris setting book with three players.

Out of 19 characters, only two survived.

One of those two started with a different player then it ended up with. One player ran out of guys just before they ran into the big boss. So another player with multiple characters left “gave” the character to the other play to use. Then, in the final battle, the generous player lost his remaining characters.

I figure they can work out whose character it is on their own. They’re adults.

I don’t really want to give away too much of the adventure for those who have yet to play it.

My players had a blast and want to play again, so Hubris gets my ringing endorsement.

Since only two characters survived to become level 1 classes. I think I’m going to run another funnel, probably Sailors on the Starless Sea, and allow those level ones to play as well. Surviving zeroes will get to be level one, while if the level ones survive, they still won’t have enough XP to go to level 2 yet.

Hubris – a setting for Dungeon Crawl Classics

I’ve decided that the next game I run will be DCC using the Hubris setting.
To start with, I’m just going to use the funnel adventure in the Hubris book, of which I have the softcover version. Looking forward to running it in the next 2 to 3 weeks.

I asked Mike Evans, creator of Hubris, for some clarification/guidance on some issues I had with character creation and he was nice enough to give me some pointers.

I’m still playing in a Savage Worlds game set in the Sundered Skies that has gone on for half a dozen years now. It’s a great campaign that will be concluding soon. My character is a drakin, basically a humanoid dragon baby, who is on a quest to become a real deal gigantic dragon with a huge treasure horde!

The growing into a dragon part is going well, but the treasure horde part has so far escaped me.

On Tuesday’s we have been recording ourselves playing Magic the Gathering. We play Commander/EDH format, which is new to me having been out of the Magic scene for a decade, and then only briefly. I still have all my old cards from High School (3rd edition, The Dark, and Fallen Empires, mostly) and most of those are GREATLY outclassed by the cards nowadays.

Those bastards at WotC really know how to squeeze their audience for cash.

Anyway, I am currently using “Moldrotha, the Gravetide” as my commander. It’s the first deck that I’ve won with since I started playing again back in November. The last game I played it saw me using a Nevinyrral’s Disk to board wipe everything except lands, then used Torment of Hailfire like 12 times (it has an X cost) to do 36 damage to the last remaining opponent; Chuckleberry Finn.

It was a good win.

The more we record, the better the recordings get. We hope to get a podcast up and running very soon. It is tentatively titled, “Timmy and the Kid”

The podcast will be centered on gaming. Witty banter while playing a game, and actual-play broadcasts of RPG sessions. Edited and formatted to be informative and fun for the listener.

I know I sure as hell skip the 4 plus hour podcasts that consist of a bunch of nerds giggling at Princess Bride quotes. Ugh. No thank you.

So I’m Timmy, and Mike is The Kid, and sometimes we have special guests who we interview while we game. 

Cyborg class for DCC RPG

The Cyborg

This class is born of my dislike for other Cyborg classes created by other people.

by Ramon Perez
No matter your background, you were found by someone or something and changed into a machine.
Your living body was removed piece by piece until only your conscious brain remained. This was placed into a cybernetic body to be used as a shock trooper and slave by your creator. The process was torturous and mind-bending.
Something went wrong.
The implants and programming are not under the master’s control, but yours. You have free will and complete control of your new body.
Hit Points: 1D10 per level of experience. Hit points do not heal; you must be fixed.
Weapon Training: All weapons are traited as trained. You cann’t wear armor of any kind.
Alignment: You are free to choose any alignment.
Attack Modifier: Same as Chaotic Thief
Intimidation: Your artificialness is disturbing to most and you suffer a penalty of one step down the Dice Chain when making Personality Checks.
Luck: If you have a Luck modifier, it also affects your Action Die when attacking, making Self Repair rolls, and any attempt to interface with a computer.
Cyborg: Due to your body being over 90% artificial, you are effectively no longer human in the biological sense. 
  • You require merely a cup of nutrient paste per day and a single cup of water to maintain what biological parts you have left.
  • You still require oxygen, and so breathe with artificial lungs.
    • You have a bonus of one die higher on the Dice Chain to Fortitude checks against poisons and toxins. 
  • Tactile senses are virtually non-existent. Any check requiring a sense of touch is performed at a minus 4 penalty. 
  • Your body is very dense and sinks to the bottom of water.
  • You can hold your breath for up to 15 minutes
  • An internal computer implant displays information within your vision much like a Heads Up Display. 
  • Computer Interface: You can interface directly with other computers. Depending on the computer system’s security, a skill check may be necessary. 

Self-Repair: You have an innate knowledge of how to repair damage to your body.  However, you are only proficient enough to repair 1 Hit Die worth of hit points or 1 point of Ability Score per day. To do this, you must make a Self Repair trained skill check of medium difficulty every time you attempt to repair yourself.


Armor: Your armor is your bionic body itself. 
  • Your Armor Class is equivalent to Scale Mail.
  • You cannot wear additional armor. 
  • Critical Hits against you roll at a minus 2 on the critical hit table, with a minimum result of 1.

Physical Strength: Your muscles are a combination of hydraulics and myomer threading. 
  • You have a base Strength Score of 16 now, replacing your previous Strength score. This can still be burned as normal, but does not naturally heal; you must be fixed.
  • You inflict 1d4 damage with your punches and kicks.

Cybernetic Implants (choose two or roll twice on the following table at first level). Other cybernetic implants can be procured and installed as you adventure.
  • Heavy Armor: Your armor is bulkier and provides an Armor Class of Full Plate.
  • Sensor Hand: One hand contains a sensor suit
  • Tool Hand: One hand can transform into any simple non-weapon tool.
  •  Arm Weapon. A single weapon can be built into one arm. If ammunition is necessary, you have enough for 1d5 rounds of combat.
  • Machine Strength: Your Strength score now has a base of 18. Punches and kicks inflict d5 damage. 
  • Faster: Your movement speed is doubled. 
  • Jumper: You can jump 10 feet high or across without a running start. Double distance if running. 
  • Telescopic Vision: can magnify distances up to 15x. 
  • Camera Vision: can take still or video images and store them. 
  • Secret compartment: You can choose where the secret compartment is located on your body, but the amount it can contain is determined by the size of the location. 
  • Self-Destruct Mechanism: This implant was originally installed so that your former master could control you. Somehow, you gained control of the switch. With a mental command, you can set it on a timer for up to one hour, or self-destruct immediately. How you self-destruct is up to you; however, the area of effect is no more than a five foot radius around you.
  • Targeting Assistance: By taking time to compute targeting information, you increase your chances to hit. The first round grants a +1d3, the second a +1d4, the third a +1d5, and so on up the Dice Chain.

 Advancement Table

Level 1: Attack: +1. Crit Table/Die: 1d10/III. Action Dice: 1d20. Ref: 0, Fort: +1, Will: +1
Level 2: Attack: +1. Crit Table/Die: 1d12/III. Action Dice: 1d20. Ref: +1, Fort: +1, Will: +1
Level 3: Attack: +2. Crit Table/Die: 1d14/III. Action Dice: 1d20. Ref: +1, Fort: +2, Will: +1
Level 4: Attack: +2. Crit Table/Die: 1d16/IV. Action Dice: 1d20. Ref: +1, Fort: +2, Will: +2
Level 5: Attack: +3. Crit Table/Die: 1d20/IV. Action Dice: 1d20. Ref: +2, Fort: +3, Will: +2
Level 6: Attack: +3. Crit Table/Die: 1d24/IV. Action Dice: 1d20+1d8. Ref: +2, Fort: +3, Will: +3
Level 7: Attack: +4. Crit Table/Die: 1d30/IV. Action Dice: 1d20+1d12. Ref: +3, Fort: +4, Will: +3
Level 8: Attack: +4. Crit Table/Die: 1d30/IV. Action Dice: 1d20+1d16. Ref: +3, Fort: +4, Will: +4
Level 9: Attack: +5. Crit Table/Die: 2d20/IV. Action Dice: 1d20+1d20. Ref: +3, Fort +5, Will: +4
Level 10: Attack: +6. Crit Table/Die: 2d20/IV. Action Dice: 1d20+1d20+1d10. Ref: +3, Fort: +5, Will: +5

Post-Apocalyptic Cybernetics for DCC RPG

Stolen from Image Search

This post mentions the Umerican Survival Guide. It’s an excellent third party setting for Dungeon Crawl Classics.

The Umerican Survival Guide is the organized and edited setting book based on the zine, Crawling Under a Broken Moon.

Both of these are great resources for the DCC Judge who wants to add some post-apocalyptic flavor to their games.

Back in the day, I basically grew up playing Rifts and Ninjas & Superspies. Within those two games, cybernetics are featured very prominently. Even though there are classes in those games who specialize in having lots of cybernetic stuff, characters of any class can use cybernetics, albeit to a limited degree.

In a post-apocalyptic world where cybernetics are available, it would make sense for them to be available to everyone, for a price, and full-on cyborgs would be pretty rare (due to initial buy-in cost and then cost of maintenance on top of that).

So in my game, I’m ditching the Cyborg class completely, and making a list of cybernetics that are available to any character. These can be relics from the past found as loot or items that can be purchased and implanted for an expensive fee. Basically, cybernetics in my game are the same as magic items in a fantasy game. Some even have a limited number of ‘charges’ to use their effects before becoming useless. Some cybernetics are simply mimics of normal biological organs used for medical purposes. Others are tools and others are weapons.

Here is a short list of cybernetic parts organized by body location. I haven’t come up with pricing or availability yet. I think it would probably be better for the less complicated items to be used as loot from adventuring (a found pre-apocalypse medical storage facility or something) but I suppose loot could also come from carving stuff out of dead bodies of slain bad guys. It’s your group, man.

Eyes

  • Polarized vision
  • Thermo-Imaging
  • Telescopic
  • Video recording
  • Microscopic
  • Passive Nightvision
  • Panoramic vision
  • Full Spectrum

Arms

  • Multi-tool hand
  • Hydrolic extendable arm
  • Jackhammer arm 
  • Sensor hand
  • Forearm computer
  • Climbing cord
  • garrote
  • Finger camera
  • Palm taser
  • Retractable razor nails
  • retractable wrist claws (like Wolverine)
  • Hydrolic and/or myomer musculature for increased strength

Legs

  • Hydrolic and/or myomer musculature for increased speed
  • Increased jumping ability
  • Hidden compartment
  • Tank treads instead of legs
  • Four legs instead of two
  • Extendable legs

Torso

  • Oxygen storage cell
  • toxin filter
  • Artificial organs
  • Hidden compartment
Regardless of how it is acquired, cybernetics must be installed, and to do that a trained medical technician is necessary. A perfect piece of cybernetics won’t work if it is installed incorrectly!
  • Scummy chop shop: Cheapest installation price, part works for d4 weeks, 65% chance of infection from non-sterile equipment.
  • Decent chop shop: a little more expensive, part works as it should, 50% chance of infection.
  • Professional facility: more expensive, parts works as it should, 15% chance of infection.
  • Super deluxe facility: very expensive, part works better than it should, no chance of infection
Maintenance costs would be 10 percent of the “cost” of the part, per week.
So a Wizard with a Microscope eye that has a cost of 1000gp, would have to spend 100gp per week to maintain the eye. 
If the maintenance cost is not met, the part gradually loses its abilities. Use the following as a general guideline
  • All abilities of the part are reduced by 25% after the first week of no maintenance.
  • Reduce by 50% after the second week
  • The part is unusable after the third week
Some parts may not have abilities that track in a way that they can be reduced as above. In those cases, the part simply stops working altogether. 

Science Fiction and DCC RPG

(NOTE: I’m spitballing here. Letting my frustrations out)

I had been puttering away on my own fantasy setting for DCC RPG, it was going to be THE GREATEST FANTASY SETTING EVER!!!

Of course, after making a lot of progress, one of my players said they are tired of fantasy games and want to play science fiction. Others echoed that sentiment.

Damn.

So, fantasy setting is on the backburner for the time being.

I still want to play DCC, though. What am I to do?

I did some research, that’s what I did.

I bought the Crawling Under a Broken Moon companion, the Umerican Survival Guide, Mutant Crawl Classics, and Hubris (for some reason I thought Hubris was a post-apocalyptic setting).

  • The Umerican Survival Guide has some great stuff, but I greatly dislike the Cyborg class. It could be used for a Road Hogs style After the Bomb setting.
  • MCC is disappointing in that virtually none of it is useful to me. The AI Patrons, and animal and plant mutants are interesting.
  • The Murder Machine in Hubris is pretty cool, but the rest of the book isn’t geared for what I’m looking for. No fault of it’s own.

All have good ideas that I can use. But none of them are really what I’m looking for. I need something else.

So I thought about what I want in a sci-fi game.

  • Energy weapons
  • force fields
  • mecha/giant robots
  • vehicles
  • cybernetics/bionics
  • mutations
  • evil sorcerer/wizard bad guys
  • Influences: Borderlands, Rifts Earth, Mad Max, Turbo Kid, Wizards, The Dying Earth, The Invisibles, After the Bomb
I also thought about what I don’t want
  • Fantasy races (dwarves, elves, halflings)
  • Magic in the hands of the player characters. 
So what I’m thinking is having two classes; Warrior and Thief.
As they adventure and loot, they can get cooler and more powerful gear. They can also mutate. They can acquire cybernetic implants and body parts to replace those lost or permanently damaged. 
If I include magic at all, I want to combine the Cleric and Wizard spells and abilities. My idea for that is that a character can learn Patron Bond and attempt to use it. 
  • The character can cast patron spells and use Invoke Patron for its effects. 
  • The character can not learn other spells on their own; they aren’t wizards after all.
  • Multiple patrons can be bonded with, determined by character level plus Personality modifier, minimum of one.
  • Only one Patron can be invoked at a time; the effects of the Invoking that patron must expire before another Patron can be invoked. 
  • Patrons are represented as idols/fetishes that the character carries on their physical person. Perhaps these can be used the same as holy symbols.
  • Spell failure works as a Cleric, with Disapproval (but from the Patron)
I like the idea that anyone can use magic, but no one can understand it, and it is very dangerous and unpredictable. 
But the more I think about it, the more difficult it is for me to pin down what, exactly I want, and how to include it. 
Thinking of the Invisibles, I like the idea that otherwise normal people can and do use magic on a daily basis, but don’t even realize it. Or that a street kid who is more interested in doing drugs and burning his school is a master magician and an anarchic soldier is his guide into other forms of consciousness. 
Thinking of the Borderlands video game series, mutants abound and millions of gun types are available, each with variations in features and drawbacks. 
Rifts and The Dying Earth treat magic almost as a science, with the world being a shattered and bizarre future version of our own. 
As I sit here and write all this, I’m just getting more frustrated at my inability to focus.
If I could easily adapt After the Bomb to DCC, I would probably be happy with that…

How to create a Giant Snail for Dungeon Crawl Classics part 2

Part 1 was explaining the problem; that is, there is no published giant snails for DCC RPG. 

What the hell is that about?

Giant Snails should be a creature in every Monster Manual or Bestiary ever made, but no… no love for giant snails.

Anyway, I’m going to make one for you, right here, right now!

First, I’ll take from what I have already.

Flail Snail (ADnD)

AC:4, -8 to hit body due to it’s speed in retracting into the shell.
Move: 3″
HD: 4-6 (one HD per tentacle) Note: any hit to the body kills the creature.
No. of Attacks: 1 per tentacle
Damage per Attack: 1-8
Intelligence: low
Alignment: Neutral
Size: Large (8 feet high, shell weighs 250 lbs)
Special: Immune to fire (normal and magic) and poison. When target of a spell; 40% spell malfunction, 30% normal function, 20% spell failure, 10% reflected back at caster.

And

Slug, Underdark (DCC RPG)

Initiative: -6
Attack: Acidic Touch +3 melee (1d4 damage plus slime)
AC: 18
HD: 3d6
Move: 10′
Action dice: 1d20
Special: Slime
Saves: Fort +5, Ref -6, Will -2
Alignment: Chaotic 

Well, shoot… these are very different! How will I ever work them together??? Oh woe is me!
Just kidding. Someone already thought of that shizz. 
Using the DCC Monster Helper PDF from the above awesome site, I’m considering the Flail Snail to be of the Vermin persuasion. So that means…

Flail Snail

Initiative: +1
Attack: Smash +3 melee (d8 damage per tentacle)
AC: this is a judgement call, since the Monster Helper does zilch with Armor Class. I figure an 18 due to the shell is appropriate.
HD: 4-6, one per tentacle
Speed: This is tricky. I found this page that has a comparison chart. My math ain’t too good, but it seems like a Flail Snail would only move 3 feet per round. Which is really damn slow!
Action Dice: 4-6 d20 (hey, why not?)
Fortitude: +4
Reflex: +1
Will: +1
Special: Same as before. There really isn’t any thing to convert. 

Alright. So now I have a Flail Snail and a creepy underdark slug, DCC ready, so lets get down to business!

Giant Snail (Wild)

Initiative: -6
Attack: none. Snails do not attack, even to defend themselves.
AC: 18
HD: 2
Speed: 5 feet
Action Dice: 1d20
Fortitude: +3
Reflex: -5
Willpower: -2

The average wild giant snail is more of a nuisance than a monster. It leaves a slime trail, but nothing special. But now that we have a base, we can do so much more!

Giant Snail (hauler)Initiative: -6
Attack: none
AC: 18
HD: 6
Speed: 5 feet
Action Die: d20
Fort: +4
Ref: -6
Will: -2

The Hauler is used by sentients as a beast of burden to haul cargo to and fro. It is much larger than the wild giant snail but maintains the same speed. A Hauler snail can carry half as much cargo as an ox, but has the advantages of a much smoother ride, much better ability to climb steep inclines, and they are far more docile and easy-going. Haulers leave a pretty wide and thick trail of slippery slime. Walking behind one will force a Reflex save of DC 15 to avoid slipping and falling comedically in snail slime. However, other snails following the slime trail of a Hauler will see their speed increase by 25%. A hauler’s slime trail will linger for up to 8 hours in ideal conditions (night time, high humidity), but will last only a half hour in daylight.

Giant Snail (Singer)Initiative: -3
Attack: none
AC: 15
HD: 1 (d6)
Speed: 10 ft
Action die: 1d20
Fort: +4
Ref: -3
Will: -1

The Singing giant snail is a popular household pet. Its shell comes in a wide variety of color combinations and breeders are always coming out with new colorations (that get more and more expensive). It gets its name because the snail sings when it is happy; sort of like how a cat purrs. Singers are the most intelligent of the snails, but that doesn’t mean much. They are also the least slimey and the most tolerant to lower humidity and dry places. 

Giant Snail (Speeder)Initiative: 0
Attack: none
AC: 16
HD: 2
Speed: 20 ft
Action die: 1d20
Fort: +3
Ref: -2
Will: -2

Speeders are the fastest snails. They can not carry as much cargo as a Hauler, but are able to carry about 50 lbs of stuff strapped to their shells, and still travel nearly as fast as a human. For this reason they are most often employed by messenger services. Like their cousins, Speeders are docile, but eat far more vegetation than the other snails due to their higher metabolism. Speeders exude a thick slippery slime, similar to haulers, but their trail is much smaller and dries much more quickly (3 hours in ideal conditions, 10 minutes in daylight)
So there ya go. A Flail Snail, A wild snail, a labor snail, a pet snail, and a fast snail. Give me a shout if you use them and how they do in your game. 

How to create a Giant Snail for Dungeon Crawl Classics part 1

For the setting I’m creating, giant snails are an important part of the ecology for one particular area. So, I opened up my DCC rulebook to the bestiary and… no giant snail. Okay, well I’ll just convert one from some other edition of DnD! Right?

  • ADnD Monster Manual? nope. 
  • ADnD MM Two? nope. 
  • ADnD Fiend Folio??? There is the Flail Snail but that’s not really a giant snail. It’s a magical goofy snail. 
  • Critters, Creatures & Denizens by J.A. Rhodes-Gloor? no giant snails. 
  • Palladium’s Monsters and Animals 2nd edition? No giant snails. 
  • Basic Dungeons and Dragon’s Creature Catalogue? nothing
  • Castles and Crusades’ Monsters and Treasure? Nada
  • 5th edition DnD Monster Manual??? Zero, zilch, zip.
  • TMNT After the Bomb: Mutants in Avalon? The only RPG I’ve found that uses giant snails, and is the actual inspiration for me wanting to use them in Strathos.  
Apparently, Giant Snails are non-existent in a wide swath of tabletop RPGs over the last 50 years. What the hell???
So I’ve been researching snail ecology and behavior in order to create Giant Snails for my campaign.
I have some criteria I must meet that is more or less setting-specific
  • They must fit a niche within their natural habitat.
  • They must have abilities that make them desirable as beasts of burden over other choices of animal (like horses or oxen).

The campaign area these Giant Snails will call home is heavily forested with giant trees like Redwood’s. It would be considered a temperate rain forest. Essentially the Pacific Northwest of North America.

Giant snails have the ability to haul cargo strapped to their shells, and can move easily over the broken terrain of the forest floor. They can also climb vertically up the trunks of the trees – potentially to safety from dangers on the forest floor.

Giant Snails are docile and never attack, even in self-defense. Making them safe to have around children.

Snails come in a rather large variety. Some eat fungus, some eat decaying plant matter, some eat fresh vegetation, and some eat other snails! So, my giant snails should also share these aspects, as well as more fantastic attributes since this is a fantasy game;

  • Generic Wild snail – feeds on fungus, including intelligent fungoids
  • Cargo snail – for hauling cargo
  • Speed snail – faster than a cargo snail but can’t carry very much
  • War snail – might as well use the Flail Snail for this.
  • Singing snail – smallest of the giants, kept as a pet. Sings like a song bird. Wide variety of colorations. 
Now that I’ve determined what I want with the Giant Snail, and how it fits into the game world, the next step is to figure out stats for it. That will be in part 2.