Scarlet and Grey Cafe Comedy Night

Scarlet and Grey Cafe is a campus institution that’s been around for a while. 8 years, according to their website. Just a block North of Lane Avenue, the bar has cheap drinks, nightly specials, live bands, and on Tuesday nights, open-mic comedy.

Open-mic comedy is hosted by Cory Baxter; who looks like a cross between Lemmy from Motorhead and a redneck speed dealer. I’m sure this is intentional. He’s pretty funny, especially his bit about doing meth his buddy found in an alley.

Comedy-wise, it’s open mic, so it’s generally piss-poor. Fat lady making fat jokes, Nerd making nerd jokes, random d-bags trying to tell jokes with no punch-line, etc. Now, while that is a very critical note, it takes a lot of courage to get up on stage and try to make strangers laugh at your jokes. I have a great deal of respect for ANYONE who has the balls to do open mic night.

Highlights were a girl whose name I can not for the life of me remember who told a rather funny suicide joke, and Bob Cook, who for all intents and purposes is the best comic in Columbus. He’s a pro, and does these open mics as basically practice and to try out new material. Then there is The Devil. This old-timer has been around FOREVER. Before the comedy begins, he plays a one-man cover set under the pseudonym of Flatt Rascal. His covers are all about 30 seconds to a minute long, and he sings them ala Will Farrell pretending to be Robert Goulet. The Devil is a fixture at Scarlet and Grey Cafe.

Of special note was the bartender, Amber. Noteworthy not so much because she’s pretty (okay, she’s gorgeous) but because she is actually a good, if not great, bartender – on Campus, no less. The place was pretty crowded but she remembered my name immediately, she didn’t let anyone wait for drinks, and she is friendly and talkative. You don’t get that too often on campus, or anywhere for that matter, especially from female bartenders. Usually that kind of attention is reserved for regulars, but we had never met before and I haven’t been to Scarlet and Grey in a year or so. Needless to say, I was pleased as punch with her service.

Tuesday nights also has $1 PBR and Miller Lite drafts as well as $2 well drinks. No cover charge, but they check IDs at the door. They also serve food, so you can have some munchies with your booze.

2203 N. High St.
Columbus, OH 43201
614.291.2347
Mon-Tue: 4p-2a
Wed-Sat: 4p-2:30a
Sunday: 5p-2a

Get Right

This would have been a proper review of the Get Right dance party thingamabob, however, I wasn’t able to attend. Yes, sad faces all around. Transportation difficulties kept me from cutting a rug.

However, intrepid journalist and object of my jealousy for her wordsmithing skill, Erica Strauss sent me the following text message from the event;

“Dude this get right is so fun”

Short, sweet, to the point. Wish I could have been there.

By the way, I wasn’t being sarcastic at all about Miss Erica’s writing skill. I am also very jealous of her day job.

Food Carts Festival

Last weekend I attended the Food Cart Festival at the Columbus Commons with Natalia of We Are Glitterati. It was the busiest I’ve seen Downtown with the exception of Red, White, and Boom. This is not necessarily a good thing.

The concept is awesome. A bunch of food trucks (not the boring gyro/brat types) all in one area with beer, live music, and various booths of community minded businesses. Like a smaller Comfest, really.

Looks good on paper, not so much in execution.

The event was to last from 6pm – 10pm. More than half the food trucks were closed due to running out of food by 8pm. The lines for food easily lasted an hour. Herds of people were tripping over each other to shuffle anywhere as about half the Commons was cut off from the event by barricades (no doubt because of the alcohol).

Much like Comfest, the bloat of too many people is what hurt this festival.

Because so many of the food trucks closed early, the ones that remained open saw even longer lines. Many people were leaving without getting anything to eat because they refused to stand in line for an hour or more.

Ray Ray’s Hog Pit was advertised for the event but wasn’t there; after talking to one of the Ray Ray’s guys (not Jaimie, the owner), I was informed that Ray Ray’s never agreed to be there at all and wasn’t even contacted. Interesting.

For the live music, there seemed to be a preponderance of hip hop (no issues with that) but the closing band was a cover band. A pretty good and lively cover band, but still. I will hand it to the cover band though; they got white people to do the “drunk white person dance,” you know the one; girls in peasant skirts swaying jarringly with their arms in the air.

Jeni’s Ice Cream truck was the only one we visited as it had the smallest line (not because no one was buying Jeni’s, but because it was moving the fastest). I tried the Goat Cheese and Cherry for the first time and it was divine. It tasted like a combination of cherry cheesecake and a girl in her early twenties. Delicious.

I’m not sure what to suggest to improve the festival for next year. I like the idea of a food truck festival as the food trucks in the town are pretty amazing. It’s good for all of these small business owners, it’s good for downtown (Dirty Frank’s and Little Palace were packed), and it’s good for people to just get out of the house and do interact with other people. But all of this is limited when you can’t get the food you came to get, and you can’t move or talk due to the oppressively large crowd. How do you fix that?

Check out the We Are Glitterati blog, Facebook, and Twitter pages.

Dubstep

After a brief hiatus, I am back. You’re welcome.

I’ve noticed that there has been a surge in popularity of dubstep in this City. For those unfamiliar with dubstep, here is my loose description; techno with heavy bass, rapid even sudden changes in tempo, and lots of weird shit going on.

This popularity reminds me of the techno boom of the 90s. Remember that? I’m not talking about Moby or Fatboy Slim of the late 90s. I’m referring to the movement that started with the Mortal Kombat movie soundtrack. Yeah, there were lots of electronic musicians and bands before then, but the release and popularity of that soundtrack really put electronic music on the mainstream map.

Dubstep groups tend to use the old techno props of hoods, masks – anything to hide the identity of the programmers/DJs. I’ve never really understood this.

On the other hand, the rise in popularity of dubstep (every time I hear or read the word, I automatically think of Jamaican music) doesn’t seem to have a notable flash point. It’s just grown. Shoot, we have like 15 dubstep shows/events/club nights a month in this city right now.

I wonder when the Dubstep Bubble will pop. Because it will.

In the meantime, check out roeVy. They are suitably weird, interesting, and put on a good show. Laser eyes, dudes. Laser eyes.

Strangers in Daylight, Burglar, Spruce Campbells

There was an excellent turnout at Hotel War‘s CD release show at Skully’s last night. The hippest kids in Columbus were there; and there are a lot of the buggers.

Opening act Strangers in Daylight were a pleasant surprise. A standard three-piece, their unfortunately short set was fun, lively, and got a decent amount of people to the dance floor. It helps that they seemed like they were friends with everyone in attendance, but that’s Skully’s for ya. I look forward to seeing Strangers in Daylight again in the future.

Burglar, of course, got all the women dancing. Which was amusing to watch because all of the “cool” hipster guys wear standing in a semi-circle, encasing a horde of young, fashionable females grooving on the dance floor. The sweet sounds of the lovely and gorgeous Lindsay Ciulla‘s mellophone and the sultry and dripping-with-sex appeal singing of Mehgan Hutchinson melded perfectly with the percussion of Drum Guy, Upright Electric Bass Dude, Guitar And Sometimes Vocals Guy, and Keyboard Dude. I’m not trying to be a jerk guys; but you are honestly not what I or any other straight guy is paying attention to when we see Burglar play. However, you will be happy to know that every single girl I know says things that I can not mention here about you. Suffice to say, they find all of you to be very handsome fellas and would like to do naughty things with you. So there ya go.

Couldn’t stay long as I had to rapidly travel to Kobo using Columbus’ red-headed stepchild of public transportation – the COTA bus. The Spruce Campbells were closing out Kobo and I told a couple people I would be there.

Not enough is said about Kobo. I think the sound at the old Oldfield’s on High is superior to most (if not all) bars in town. Unlike some other more prominent places, the vocals don’t get drowned out, the balance of guitars, bass, drums, etc isn’t all out of whack, and the acoustics of the room just seem better.

Anyway, the Spruce Campbells killed it. Unfortunately, it was late so the crowd was small (but still good for the late hour). Some pre-set jamming to Rush by Chris Cheeseman the drummer and guitarist Matthew Forney was welcome (and amusing). Chelsea Moore‘s and Jason Kusowski‘s vocals complimented each other perfectly. The band seemed to be having fun, and that translated to the crowd; there was dancing and smiles everywhere. Chelsea tells me that she has no groupies, and I think this is an absolute crime. With her voice and looks, she should be beating dudes off with a stick.

Also in attendance at the Spruce Campbells show was Scott Ball (accompanied by his lovely fiance) of the tragically defunct Asthmo. Few people probably remember Asthmo, but they were good. Real good. However, their demise brought about The Nuclear Children, which begat the Spruce Campbells (which is apparently going to give birth to a bouncing Barker’s Beauties at some point). Sometimes it’s weird how everyone in Columbus is connected. Also, you just got a short lesson in some Columbus indie band history.

You’re welcome.

Essential Music Videos - 90's Indie RockEssential Music Videos – 90’s Indie Rock

Lucky 13 Hair Salon

Lucky 13 is the best hair-cutting experience I’ve ever had. I can say that honestly and without question.
 
I was going to write up a nice little review using all the review techniques they teach you in school. But I hate writing like that, and I hate reading sanitized, boring reviews. Most people agree with me. So here we go.

I needed a haircut. For the past couple years I always went to Great Clips or other McDonalds-like chain places. I have always been completely unsatisfied with these hair-cutting experiences and figured that I just hate getting my hair cut. So I posted a status update on Facebook asking for any recommendations for a new place to get my hair cut. I got 4 responses within about 20 seconds, all of which said “Lucky 13.”

Being a guy who doesn’t pay attention to such things, I had no idea what “Lucky 13” was or what it meant. So I Googled it to find out. Sounded hip, cool, and therefore not like something I would like at all. So I mulled it over for a few days before I decided, “Aw, what the hell. Why not?”

I had a bunch of other errands to run so I put Lucky 13 at the end of my list for the day. When I finally walked in, a very pretty blond woman (can’t tell from the pictures on the website who she was) smiled a genuine smile at me and asked me to sign in. She informed me that there was a 45 minute to an hour wait, and I was welcome to wait inside or leave and come back. I was Famished, so I left and got a Reuben at the Deli down the street. That isn’t important. What is important is when I walked back in, a completely different woman (I’m assuming Lane) said, “Tim?” To which I replied, “Yes?” She told me I was up next. I had only been gone for a half hour, so I was pleasantly surprised.

A quite attractive, smiling (perfect teeth) young woman named Angie walked up, introduced herself and extended her hand for a shake. She led me to her chair, and asked me what I wanted done.

This is always the part of getting a haircut that I hate the most. I never have any idea of what I want done. All I know is that I look horrible, I despise my hair, and I just want to get in, get a haircut, and get out as quickly as possible. I don’t like to chit-chat, I don’t like being sociable with people I don’t know, and I do not like haircuts.

So I say, “I dunno.”

She laughed, which made me laugh, and Angie proceeded to start making suggestions while we were facing the mirror (Another issue I’ve had with every past barber or stylist I’ve ever had is that they always face me AWAY from the mirror so I can’t see what they are doing). She made me feel comfortable; the most comfortable I’ve ever felt while getting a haircut. I talked, I chit-chatted, and I never once cringed and thought, “Oh God, what is she doing?”

I even mentioned my past experiences of horrible haircuts with her and how this was so much better. She replied that she thinks it’s probably because unlike the people at other places like Great Clips, she actually likes what she does and where she works. She’s been working at Lucky 13 for three years now and loves it. (Angie was pretty fascinating; she’s backpacked through the jungles of Costa Rica, has a tight rope in her backyard that she performs yoga on, and other ridiculously cool things that I can’t seem to remember right now)

This made me recall that every employ I came across seemed genuinely happy and friendly. I think that means quite a lot.

So, I think I’ve found my new hair-cutting place. I don’t want to say my new barbershop because it doesn’t sound right, nor do I want to say my new salon because, well, I just ain’t gonna say that either.


Lucky 13 is the best hair-cutting experience I’ve ever had. I can say that honestly and without question. I like my haircut, I liked my experience, and I will definitely go back.

Also, I thoroughly recommend Angie. While it certainly seems like I’ve been gushing about her, you just can’t understand how much I hate getting my hair cut, nor how much this experience made me realize that getting my hair cut doesn’t have to be an awful experience.

One last thing; they give you a card which they punch out every time you are in. Get 12 punches and your 13th cut is free.

As an aside; what is the proper amount to tip for a hair cut?

[Photos were pulled from Lucky 13’s website. I do not make any claims to ownership of photos, and if you want them taken down, just tell me]

Goblinoid Races

In the previous post I mentioned that I had to create several new playable races for Castles and Crusades. Well, here they are if anyone wants to use them.

As I said before, the race descriptions are based off of those from Palladium Fantasy.

Roll the standard 3D6 for attributes. I always let my players reroll ones.

Goblin
Modifiers: +1 Dexterity, -1 Strength
Racial Traits and Abilities:
Animal Empathy: Goblins can read the emotions of animals. They can not conversate with them, though.
Combat Expertise: When fighting against Gnomes and Halflings, Goblins enjoy a bonus of +1 to hit against AC.
Dark Vision: 120 feet – can see in total darkness, but needs 1 round for eyes to adjust.
Hearing: Goblins receive a bonus of +1 to listening based checks.
Size: Height is 3 feet plus D12 inches, Weight is 60 + 5D8 pounds

Goblins are short and skinny with spindly arms and legs, pencil necks, skin colors that range from yellow and light green to brown and dark green, and hair that is either black, dark brown, or deep red. Eyes are large and ears are pointed. Teeth are sharp and pointy.

Kobold
Modifiers: +1 Constitution, -1 Dexterity
Racial Traits and Abilities:
Racial Animosity: -2 on Charisma checks when dealing with Humans, Elves, Halflings, and Gnomes.
Darkvision: 120 feet – can see in total darkness, but needs 1 round for eyes to adjust.
Underground Direction: Can sense approximate depth underground without needing an attribute check.
Fearless: +2 to savings throws vs Fear.
Resistant to Poison (Constitution) +2 to savings throws vs Poison.
Movement: 20 feet per round
Size: Height is 3 feet plus D12 inches, Weight is 70 + 5D8 pounds

Kobolds are short, thin, with leathery skin that is dark muddy brown or red. They often go bald on the top of their heads and do not grow facial or body hair. What hair they do have is white. Their eyes are yellow or red, and their teeth are sharp and pointed.

Orc
Modifiers: +2 Strength, +1 Constitution, -2 Intelligence, -1 Charisma
Racial Traits and Abilities:
Twilight Vision: Able to see clearly and in color for 1 mile under starlight or moonlight.
Sense of Smell: Detect the presence (but not location) of creatures within 30 feet, or 60 feet if upwind. Strong scents can be picked up at twice that range, and Exceptionally strong scents at three times the range. Provides a bonus of +2 to Track if a Ranger.
Martial Prowess: +2 to AC when not wearing armor. The Orc does not receive this bonus if wearing armor of any kind.
Resistance to Disease: +2 to save vs Disease
Size: Height is 5 feet plus D20 inches, Weight is 130 + D100 pounds

Orcs are broad shouldered, muscular, with sharp teeth and small tusks coming up from the lower jaw. Their noses are flat and pig-like, with long tongues used to wet the nose to improve their sense of smell. Skin colors range from dark green and dark brown to black, with thick black hair.

Troglodyte
Modifiers: +1 Charisma, -1 Wisdom
Racial Traits and Abilities:
Fearless: Troglodytes are naturally inquisitive and confident. +2 vs Fear.
Twilight Vision: Able to see clearly and in color for 1 mile under starlight or moonlight.
Resistant: +1 to all Constitution-based Savings throws.
Spot Hidden Doors: Troglodytes natural curiousity gives them a +1 bonus to find hidden doors.
Empathy: Troglodytes are the most liked of the Goblinoid races, and receive a +1 to Charisma checks when dealing with Goblinoids, and no negative modifier when dealing with other races.
Size: Height is 4 feet plus D12 inches, Weight is 130 + D100 pounds

Troglodytes are broad shouldered, with pale waxy skin, large dark brown eyes, flabby bodies and heads that vaguely resemble Salamanders or Newts. They are generally friendly, trusting, and curious. They like to eat well and party hard.

Hobgoblin
Modifiers: +2 Wisdom, -1 Charisma, -1 Constitution
Racial Traits and Abilities:
Enhanced Senses: Vision is exceptional, and large ears provide a +2 bonus to checks involving listening and sound.
Twilight Vision: Able to see clearly and in color for 1 mile under starlight or moonlight.
Charm Resistance: Hobgoblins are resistant to spells that Charm or cause Sleep: +10 to save
Spot Hidden Doors: Hobgoblins receive a +2 bonus when searching for hidden doors/compartments.
Movement: 30 feet per round
Size: Height is 4 feet plus D12 inches, Weight is 90 + 6D10 pounds

Hobgoblins resemble their goblin cousins, but are taller and have comically over-sized ears. Hobgoblins are notoriously hard to get along with; gruff, arrogant, pompous.

Castles and Crusades

The Castles & Crusades logoImage via Wikipedia

I just got my hands on a couple of Castles and Crusades books. I’ve been hearing a lot about it and decided to try it out.

I was originally designing a Palladium Fantasy 1st edition campaign but decided to go with C&C instead. Particularly after I read Grinding Gears by Lamentations of the Flame Princess.

So, I had to make new races for my campaign; Goblin, Hobgoblin, Orc, Kobold, and Troglodyte.  I’m still using the race descriptions as they are for Palladium (I like them a lot more than the D&D versions).

Humans, Elves, Dwarves, Halflings, and Gnomes are the enemy! In some cases, individuals of these races can and will be allies to the characters, but this will be very rare.

The idea behind the campaign was inspired by the Goblins webcomic. Basically, the characters have gotten fed up being fodder for low level “adventurers” and have decided to become adventurers themselves in order to protect their people. Not only are the players playing monsters (and from the monster’s points of view) but the characters themselves are vaguely aware that they are part of a game. Breaking the 4th wall and all that.

I’m also including a lot of humor in the campaign, mixed with quite a bit of potential death for the characters. 

I’m going to be running this game for two different small groups (scheduling conflicts have forced this). One is my main gaming group, and the other is a group of people that for the most part are brand new to role playing. That’s another reason I chose to go with Castles and Crusades – it’s so ridiculously simple.

The final reason I’m using Castles and Crusades is because my roommate has an extensive collection of 1st and 2nd edition AD&D books that are all easily converted to C&C.

As a GM, I’ve never been big on pre-made adventures or modules. In fact, I’ve only ever used one pre-made adventure in over 15 years of running games. However, due to my own time constraints, I’ve decided to start the players off using two different low-level adventures; Grinding Gears by LotFP, and Beacon at Enon Tor for C&C. I actually have no idea who wrote the conversion for Beacon, but I’m aware it was originally printed in Dragon for D&D.

Both adventures are very different from each other, are good for introducing the game to everyone, and are short enough to fit into a single game session.

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Shows this weekend

Friday:

The lovely Salty Caramels are going to make Happy Hour at Woodlands Tavern happier than ever.

Following the Salty Caramels; Erika Carey, the Spruce Campbells, Marvin the Robot, and the Glass Winged Sharp Shooters finish the night at Woodland Tavern

At Circus; Dirty Girls, George Elliot Underground, Nathan Kalish and the Wildfire, and Hotel War perform in a TRIO production.

Kobo presents Bicentennial Bear, SPD GVNR (I love that name), and Vanity Theft

Saturday:

Skully’s and TRIO present Burglar‘s CD Release show, with the ever-present Phantods, and Two Cow Garage.

The Briar Patch presents Verner Caliper who have one of the best flyer/posters I’ve seen in a while.