Tonight I went to Carabar to buy cigarettes and a beer. I didn’t realize it would be crowded, since Carabar doesn’t promote any shows ever, and I hadn’t heard of any of the bands playing before I got there. Couple things…
Carabar is pretty awesome for 3 reasons. The first is that it is two blocks from my apartment. The second is that Carabar’s food is ridiculously good. The Helen Killer Cafe kills it. Taco Tuesday is possibly the best kept secret in Columbus. The Black and Blue burger is unlike anything you’ve ever had, and is delicious. It’s vegan friendly with seperate fryers and cooking area for the vegan options. The third is that, when you actually, finally, get the attention of a bartender (not their fault, the bar is always crowded with “it’s my first time at a bar” fuckbags that don’t know to exit the area after they get their draft), they’re friendly and nice and pour damn good drinks.
Tonight’s band line-up was a series of rock bands. Unfortunately, at least one of these bands want to label themselves as “post-rock,” a completely meaningless label that is used by hipster musicians and hipster non-musicians to describe progressive rock music. Oh! Your band plays melodic rock instrumentals? No “rock” band has ever done that before, so it MUST be, “post-rock,” right?
No… no band has done that before; Rush, Pink Floyd, Metallica, Joe Satriani, The Grateful Dead, or a hundred other bands that don’t give themselves the pretentious and idiotic label of “post-rock,” have ever done that before. No. Fucking. Way.
But anger at the semantics used by fools aside, I got there in time to catch a band called, “If Trees Could Talk.” As my brotha J-fi said, if trees could talk, they would tell us to stop killing them; but that’s not important right now. If Trees Could Talk the band was pretty damn good. They played tight (a couple mistakes but nothing to write home about) and heavy, and had a strong crowd that dug their music. I liked them… a lot.
The next, and headliner (I assume) was The End of the Ocean. The End of the Ocean was also pretty good, but they are the ones I point my “post-rock” ire at. I’m pretty sure it isn’t “post-rock,” to have two pretty girls in your band. Because other than that, there was nothing remotely close to “post-rock,” about them. They played hard rock instrumentals; using two guitars, a drum, a bass, and a keyboard. Does that really sound like something that hasn’t been heard a thousand times before in rock music? Does that sound unique? Perhaps if you’ve never listened to rock music. If that’s the case, I can’t really say. I can only speak for myself and the majority of people in the entire fucking world.
The End of the Ocean is a good live band; I have nothing negative to say about their music at all. They had good energy that translated to the crowd; a lot to say of a band that plays only instrumentals. I enjoyed it, if only slightly less than I enjoyed If Trees Could Talk. But Christ Jesus on a pogo stick; no band should ever, EVER, EVER, call themselves “post”-anything. It is the mark of… well, of a mark; a sucker, a fool, a nincompoop.
It’s a term that makes no sense. Post-Rock. Think about it for a minute. But not too long, I don’t want anyone to have an aneurism while trying to understand the implications of Rock music that isn’t actually Rock music, but is supposedly something AFTER Rock music.
Labeling yourself as “post-rock,” is like tying a pretentious noose around your own neck. Let other, small-minded people put labels on you. That’s what small-minded people do. But once you start labeling yourself and your own art, you’ve willfully put a cap on your own creativity.
All that being said, this show was the kick-off of a CD release and a national tour; I wish all of you the absolute best. Like I said, talented musicians playing good music.
I don’t have links as my internet connection at this time is all kinds of awful, but I do know that you can hear them on both Spotify and Bandcamp and they have a Facebook page as well. I recommend giving them a listen, and buying their stuff.
