The Pee Pee Dance

I was at a concert the other night and some hipsters took the stage.  I sort of know some of them and they’re nice people, so I don’t mean to use the term “hipster” in a derogatory sense.  Just a statement of fact.  They dress, act and play in hipster style.
So watching them play I noticed something about their frontman that hit me like a… well, I almost said a ton of bricks, but that is too much of an exaggeration.  No, I just came to realize something about hipster frontmen.
Hipster frontmen always have to pee really really bad when they’re on stage.  They do what every mother knows and calls, “The Pee Pee Dance.”
Their feet spread, but their knees together, they twist their torso while sort of semi-squatting up and down with their eyes closed and a pained expression on their face.  Now, I know that they don’t actually have to pee really bad (or at least I assume that), but that just makes it more hilarious – hipster frontmen actually think pretending to have to pee makes them seem more earnest; like their banal, smug, and pretentious lyrics are SO important that goddamn (!), if the audience doesn’t believe in their sincerity, they’re just going to pee through their super-tight dark jeans, dribble on their vintage cowboy boots or converse all-stars, and maybe, just maybe, get a little bit on their too-small flannel shirt with the sleeves buttoned up.

If I feel up to it, I will post some videos of this phenomena later.

Author: everloss

I'm a dude that writes about stuff on the internet.

3 thoughts on “The Pee Pee Dance”

  1. Hilarious, Tim! I simply wouldn't spend a rare free evening watching the hipster pee-pee dance. I have a new "friend"…he took a job at Radio Shack, next door to my store. When I asked him about his band, he quite normally stated that he was a singer. And that at times, he screamed. (Thus his sore throat.) His devoted comrade sits outside Radio Shack each and every day, smoking lots of cigs, and "drawing" profound and grotesque pictures. HE is the artist of the "band". I am utterly unimpressed. Hipsters be damned. They are such cool, well-meaning kids, but they will never get why they strive to be Bohemians. Posers I say.

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