I was at a concert the other night and some hipsters took the stage. I sort of know some of them and they’re nice people, so I don’t mean to use the term “hipster” in a derogatory sense. Just a statement of fact. They dress, act and play in hipster style.
So watching them play I noticed something about their frontman that hit me like a… well, I almost said a ton of bricks, but that is too much of an exaggeration. No, I just came to realize something about hipster frontmen.
Hipster frontmen always have to pee really really bad when they’re on stage. They do what every mother knows and calls, “The Pee Pee Dance.”
Their feet spread, but their knees together, they twist their torso while sort of semi-squatting up and down with their eyes closed and a pained expression on their face. Now, I know that they don’t actually have to pee really bad (or at least I assume that), but that just makes it more hilarious – hipster frontmen actually think pretending to have to pee makes them seem more earnest; like their banal, smug, and pretentious lyrics are SO important that goddamn (!), if the audience doesn’t believe in their sincerity, they’re just going to pee through their super-tight dark jeans, dribble on their vintage cowboy boots or converse all-stars, and maybe, just maybe, get a little bit on their too-small flannel shirt with the sleeves buttoned up.<\/p>\n
If I feel up to it, I will post some videos of this phenomena later.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"